There wasn’t anything spectacular about the morning of November 8th, 2020. I tiptoed past Jack’s bassinet on my way to get breakfast going in the kitchen. With the eggs and bacon beginning to sizzle, I looked out at the pond and the pile of colorful leaves that had fallen around the perimeter. My moment of serenity was soon interrupted by a faint sound of incoherent ranting. As I turned on the nearby monitor, Charlie appeared on the screen performing stand-up comedy for her loyal gang of stuffed animals. I took a few sips of coffee to shake off the hangover that I earned from a birthday golf outing and driveway fire with friends the night before. Then I mustered up the energy to go upstairs and bring the comedian down for breakfast. When Jordan and Jack joined us at the table, Charlie began requesting songs to play over the speaker, and a dance party broke out to “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” At some point during breakfast, both kids were smiling peacefully and adorably. A few moments later, they were simultaneously melting down with little consideration that it was my birthday or that I was beyond tired. When the chaos calmed on the morning I turned 30, I thought for a second, “Hmm…so this is 30?! It’s everything I hoped for.”
In fact, when people asked, “Where do you see yourself at 30?” I’d choose this scene every time.
In the fall of 2015, Jordan had just moved back from Nashville, and we were preparing to rent a condo across from Guppy’s in Conshohocken. I was a year into my part time MBA program at Villanova, and I was probably clearer on what my plans were on Friday night than what my future career path looked like. I was a relatively low to mid-level sales consultant at Vanguard just coming off a promotion when a Senior Leader named Seth took me out to lunch.
At lunch, Seth asked about my 5 year plan. I fumbled through my response. While I certainly contemplated the answer before, I never wrote it down or organized the thoughts that were jumbled in my head. So when I was put on the spot, I started grasping at what I thought he might want to hear vs. the vision that I actually saw. Seth stopped me in my tracks and advised, “Janiec…When your vision is clear, your decisions become easy. You’ve got to own your vision. I’ll show you what I mean.”
On his napkin, Seth illustrated the exercises that he routinely practices to define, refine, and OWN his personal vision, values, and aspirations. We discussed how he maps out a vivid 5 year plan, and then breaks down the key components of the plan into smaller intervals. He encouraged me to get my own notebook and give it a try. And before I could even digest the lunch, let alone the conversation, I found a little black notebook sitting on top of my desk.
The notebook might have cost less than $3, but it was one of the most valuable gifts I have ever received. Over the past 5 years, as life and the world around me continued to rapidly change, I have spent considerable time in that book clarifying and prioritizing my own vision, values, and ambitions. The reflection process provided a sense of internal focus amidst all of the external noise. Inside that book, I worked towards identifying my primary strengths and weaknesses, defining my purpose, deconstructing my values, recognizing my role models, and highlighting what brings me the most joy, meaning, and growth. The pages of the book clarify who I am, what I want to accomplish, and where I want to be. And amidst all of the added, crossed out, and rewritten lines of notes, I engineered my own aspirational roadmap for what life might look like at 30.
In recent years, having this roadmap has helped me stay patient, but also allowed me to seize opportunities when the time was right. The map empowered me to say “No” to choices that could have easily thrown me off course. The map gave me a “Green light” to embrace, progress, and persist through each challenging leg along the journey.
My birthday provided a nice moment to both celebrate and reflect on how my hopeful vision unfolded into real life. The milestone nudged me to open up my nightstand cabinet and flip back through the original pages of the book. I recognized the sheer luck and the amazing people that shaped my current reality. I also took some pride in how my clearly defined priorities and intentions developed me into who I wanted to be. Despite having a pretty good idea of what I wanted the vision to look like, I had no clue it would feel this special.
For example, I dreamed of having two kids by 30, but could never fathom how it would feel to dance around the kitchen at breakfast with my favorite people. At 25, I wrote down the exhilarating experiences I wanted to have over the next few years, but couldn’t imagine how much joy I would get from just spending quality time with friends on the golf course or around a fire pit in the fall of 2020. I had an idea that I wanted to complete the MBA and CFP® programs, but didn’t know how exciting it would be to put the coursework behind me and prepare for this next chapter in my career. I hoped Jordan and I would own a home close to family, but really couldn’t imagine the view that I would have while cooking breakfast on the morning of November 8th. And at 25, I set ambitious goals for my personal improvement in golf, basketball, and tennis, but uhhh…I’m still pretty terrible at all three. Oh well!
This milestone birthday also inspired me to look ahead. It motivated me to turn the page and start filling up the blank space with who and where I want to be at 35. I hope this reflection motivated you to spend some time filling your own pages as well. Because when our vision is clear, our decisions are easy. And on my 30th birthday, thanks to a little book and a lot of coffee, I’m feeling clearer than ever.
The Janiec Reflection 