Charlie’s hand was clutched around my pinkie finger as she splashed about in an Ocean City tide pool. My little girl with blonde pigtails and a unicorn swimsuit was jumping through the puddles, chasing away the seagulls, and giggling as she ran from the incoming waves. It was one of those precious father/daughter moments, so why was I preoccupied thinking about the long car ride ahead of us?
A few weeks later during happy hour, my neighbor looked out my kitchen bay window towards the pond and firepit in our backyard and asked, “Do you ever just stare out this window and take in the scene?” The thing is, I do. But when I do, why does my brain immediately think about the unfinished to-do list instead of appreciating the current landscape?
Most days this summer, as we get the kids ready for school, sit down for dinner, or go through their bed-time routine, Jordan and I are relentlessly coaxing and chasing Charlie and Jack to keep them on track, out of harm’s way, and emotionally stable. We are feverishly busy resolving irrational toddler meltdowns, cleaning up the messes, and desperately trying to ensure the little ones are well fed, well behaved, and well rested. Too often, I’m tempted to press “fast forward” to skip through this stage instead of being present enough to fully experience the hilarious and adorable memories that are being made amidst the chaos.
I’m too often walking into walls while scrolling through my phone and thinking about other things. I leave cabinets open and forget what I went to the garage for. I sometimes prepare what I plan to say next instead of listening to the words that are being said. I’m thinking about the past/future/or anything except for what’s actually happening in the present. So rather than fast forward or worry about unfinished business, how instead can I slow the clock down and narrow my focus to fully embrace the ordinarily extraordinary moments that we’re currently living? Reflecting on these little moments throughout June reminded me that I need to focus on “Being where my feet are.”
The clarity came from the audiobook titled Be Where Your Feet Are by 76ers CEO Scott O’Neill. As I listened closely while mowing the lawn, going on jogs, and driving my car, O’Neill provided the helpful guidance I needed to stay fully present in the eye of my personal whirlwind.
Being fully present requires me to prioritize what is most important. It also requires Jordan and I to spend time planning and discussing our expectations and vision, so we always know what we’re working towards and what moments and opportunities we simply can’t miss. It requires me to leave my phone in the other room and take a deep breath occasionally to re-center my thoughts. With specific priorities, limited distractions, and a clear vision, I can simply focus and commit to being where my feet are in the present. Because when I am where my feet are, I’m a more joyful guy, a more loving family man, a better friend, a more trusted advisor, and a more positive community member. So I’ll ask you to hold me accountable. But first, I’m curious how you’re managing this in your own life:
During your weeks, do you spend too much time thinking about the upcoming weekend? And during your weekends, do you spend too much time thinking about the work week ahead?
Are you sometimes wishing you were on vacation until you are on vacation where you’re preoccupied with what you might be missing out on something at home?
Are you too often thinking (or scrolling) about your next job, next opportunity, or the next task instead of mastering and fully enjoying what you’re currently doing?
Are you paying attention to something else while you read through this blog? Haha no worries, I would be too, but bring your focus back for two more paragraphs…we’re almost there.
There was no better day than Father’s Day for me to take on the “Be Where Your Feet Are” challenge. With my nephews flying off the rope swing into the pond while the rest of my family ate burgers around the fire pit before a game of tennis baseball, Jordan and I just soaked it all in. Charlie and Jack were running/crawling around with big smiles on their face as their grandparents and cousins treated them like royalty, and that smile inevitably spread to my face as well. My feet were in an incredibly lucky place, and I wasn’t going to let my presence drift off anywhere else.
In the second half of 2021, I pledge to be fully in that tide pool with Charlie if I get another chance. I’ll make sure to enjoy the scene out the kitchen bay window without thinking about the to-do list. I’ll laugh and learn patiently through the meltdowns. I’ll stay alert for the memories, listen closely in conversation, and embrace the opportunities that continue to present themselves when we’re paying attention. And I challenge you to join me…by joining your feet…wherever they may be.
The Janiec Reflection 