“There will come a day when [her] memory brings a smile to your face before it brings a tear to your eye.” In the book, Promise Me, Dad, Joe Biden uses these words to describe the solace that we eventually find after suffering painful loss.
It’s been 8 years since we lost Jordan’s mom. Although time doesn’t fully heal the pain, I’ve seen more and more sad tears become big smiles over the years. In fact, as Jordan grows into the wife, mom, and woman that she’s become, Mrs. Bonder feels more present to me than ever.
I’ve heard many stories about the host, friend, and mother that Mrs. Bonder was. I’ve heard all about her love for classic movies and Broadway shows, and the times that their living room would become a stage for a mom and her two young girls. I’ve also heard about the warm and inviting environment that she always created in her home. Unfortunately, the stories never fully do her justice. I’ve been told that you have to see it to believe it.
Well, I’m seeing it right before my eyes. I see it every time Jordan’s playing, giggling, and snuggling with Charlie. I saw it on Christmas Day when we hosted the first Holiday in our new home. I hear it when Jordan’s dancing around the house singing show tunes as if the Tony Awards are happening in the kitchen.
Jordan has picked up where her mom left off, creating the same environment and giving the same love that was created and given to her when she was growing up. Because of that, Mrs. Bonder’s presence brings a smile to Jordan’s face before her absence brings a tear to Jordan’s eyes. Through this, we find solace.
Charlie may not have gotten the chance to meet her Grandmom in person, but I’m so glad that she gets to feel her and benefit from her every day through Jordan and the rest of the Bonder family. That right there brings a smile…ok and yeah, maybe a tear…to my face.
Who is that person for you? Whomever it is, I hope thinking about them as you read this makes you smile, even if it makes you cry a little too. In this moment, I hope you can find some solace.
The Janiec Reflection 
Well I’ve got lots of tears right now after reading this, but a big smile knowing Jordo’s inviting spirit and love for a good show tune. I want to taste one of those Mrs. B meatballs…get cookin’ Jordo.
Personally, I witness Pete’s dad every day in the way he ensures all of the girls in his life are looked out for.
Also, next time you are out there working on the pond or falling into it, guess who I’m picturing. Next time Fad makes us eat everything in the fridge again because no food can be wasted, guess who I am picturing. Less tears and more smiles these days for sure. Lots and lots of smiles!
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Every time I see Nora it’s the first thing I think, that she won’t ever know her grandmom. But the stories she’ll hear, the pictures and videos, all will help her know Laura. Meanwhile, I see Nora’s beaming smile and know that is her grandmom’s precious gift to her.
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