September 2022: Finding Happy Valley

I’m often asked, “Will you make your kids go to Penn State?”

My answer is, “Of course, not.”

I don’t know what kind of students Charlie and Jack will be in 2038…or what higher education is going to look like…or what it’s going to cost…or if Penn State is still going to be everything it was for me 30 years prior. So I feel like it’d be too narrow minded and near sighted to say my Happy Valley needs to be their Happy Valley.

But…there are three things I took away from my college experience that I will make sure Charlie and Jack look for in wherever they decide to go.

1. A place where they can “Cultivate their Who.”

I believe who we surround ourselves with plays a major factor in our journey, perspective, and trajectory in life. I also believe college can provide a golden opportunity to cultivate who these people are.

I met the girl who became my wife in a filthy fraternity mansion on the corner of Garner and Prospect Ave. A few random strangers in the East Dining Halls and Pollock Commons became my best friends. Some of my high school crew became more like family as we transitioned our social lives from our parents’ basements to our own off campus housing. Through classes, organizations, and social events, different people came into my world for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Many of those people made more of an impact on me than they would ever know. And since Penn State was located relatively close to where I grew up and where I hoped to end up, many of my closest family and friends are still hanging together with our growing families in blue and white outfits on Saturdays in the fall.

I’m grateful for my Penn State experience because of the people in brought into my life. 

I’m hopeful that Charlie and Jack will choose a school that allows them to do the same.

2. A place where they can “Discover their Ikigai.”

I believe the closer that young people can get to their “Ikigai” (see graphic below), the more successful they will be in all aspects of their life. I also believe college can provide a golden opportunity to discover what your Ikigai might be.

My Ikigai was shaped through the college leaderships positions that I loved and the ones that I loathed. It was discovered through the committee assignments in which I thrived and the ones where I failed. It was found in the classes that inspired me to show up early and the ones that I skipped. My Ikigai was largely discovered through the big things like dancing in THON, pledging PIKE, and my time as Frat Rush Chair, but it was also shaped by subtle influences throughout my entire college experience.

I’m grateful for my Penn State experience because of what it taught me about my Ikigai.

I hopeful that Charlie and Jack will choose a school that allows them to do the same.

3. A place where you want to “keep coming back.”

I believe in the importance of finding those favorite places in the world that you can keep coming back to. I also believe college is a golden opportunity to find one of those places.

When I woke up at sunrise on Saturday, September 10^th (Jack’s 2^nd birthday), and my kids and I went for a morning walk a mile from campus, that familiar chill in the air brought me right back to one of my favorite places in the world. After a little breakfast and a lot of pre-game hype at the Spinellis with the Rustads and the Snyders (a few of the roommates that Jordan and I did this with every Saturday 10 years ago), we ventured over to the tailgate lots.

When Beaver Stadium came into view, Charlie and Jack revealed the same expression that I had as a little kid attending Penn State games…in fact, it was the same expression that Jordan and I still have on our face every time we approach that campus. The moments that followed at the tailgate, in the game, and on the Lion Shrine reaffirmed how glad I am that Jordan, my friends and my family continue to have this common bond and tradition to rally around year after year.

I’m grateful Penn State is a place where I want to “keep coming back.”

I hopeful Charlie and Jack will choose a school that feels the same. 

Wherever Charlie and Jack go and whatever they pursue, I’m confident if they focus on these three things, they’ll find their own Happy Valley.

And while I am biased in my own experience at Penn State, I know many people found their own WHO, their own Ikigai, and their own favorite place at schools of all shapes, sizes, and locations.  I also know some people that were able to find these things without going to college at all.

But with that said… I couldn’t help but notice Charlie and Jack’s face light up when they saw The Lion.  I heard the excitement in their voice when they squealed “We Are…Penn State” and “Let’s Go P-S-U.”  I witnessed how they danced to the music from the Blue Band and sound system in between plays.  I experienced how much Jack loves tailgate snacks.  And I saw how adorable they were in their blue and white attire.

So will I make my kids go to Penn State? Of course, not.

But I can’t promise that I won’t micro-dose them with the Blue-White Kool-Aid along the way.  That’s just part of who WE ARE.