August 2023: 3 under 5

“What’s it like having 3 under 5?” That’s been the question since our daughter, Payson, arrived on August 1^st.   And it’s a loaded question. 

Because it’s not always easy, but it is really special.

We’re in the trenches over here caring for a needy newborn while potty training a little bull in a China shop and striving to reason with a 4 going on 14 year old. August brought plenty of tense mornings, tired nights, and soiled pants (Jack’s – not mine). But at the same time, it brought some of the warmest snuggles, loudest laughs, and deepest love that I’ve ever felt in my life.

August brought frustrating times like when Charlie and Jack would barge into Payson’s room to wake her up ahead of schedule. But it also brought me joy seeing how much they love their baby sister.

It brought the helpless moments when I was busy changing the baby’s diaper and I’d hear crashing and clattering in the other room. But it was adorable to find Charlie and Jack playing “Catch,” making each other a snack, or getting their helmets ready for a family bike ride.

It brought us the challenge of getting out of the house with all the supplies we need. But when I’d look in the rearview mirror and see my whole family, I felt full and complete- even if the diaper bag wasn’t.

August brought the stress inducing sounds of tantrums, whiney kids, and stomping feet. I heard one too many dramatic cries of “GIVE ME THE YELLOW PLATE!” and “I DON’T WANT TO TAKE A NAP!” But it also brought some of the most beautiful sounds in the world – like Payson’s squeaks and squeals, or Charlie learning how to read, or the exclamation of “Dadddyyyyy!!” when I wake up Charlie and Jack in the morning, or the excited pitter patter of their feet running down the hallway when I pick them up from school.

It brought the inconveniences of having our schedule dictated by feedings and naps, and rarely being able to get anything done because someone constantly needs Mom or Dad. But it also brought the special realization that these little people fully depend on us, and there’s no greater feeling of responsibility.

It brought the need for a “Box-and-one” defensive strategy where I often needed to get the rambunctious big kids out of the house for a few hours to give Jordan and Payson some peace and quiet. But those hours getting out of the house brought some of the most fun memories of the month.

August brought the draining bedtime routines which sometimes feel more like a hostage negotiation followed by a 3-ring circus followed by a WWE wrestling match followed by a million “I’ve gotta go pottttyyyy” and “I’m thirstyyyy” and “Jack is trying to do flips off his bed again!” But those same epic battles usually included the cutest giggles and the best cuddles.

And when the “big kids” finally went to sleep, August brought the added challenge of getting a cranky newborn to sleep before we could take on the pile of dishes or mountain of laundry. But when Payson would peacefully fall asleep in our arms, the awaiting to-do list no longer seemed to matter.

August brought the dirty moments of spit up on our shirts, potty training accidents, crumbs on the floor, spills on the table, sticky fingers on the windows, and grassy footprints in the kitchen. But I think one day I’ll miss the messy chaos and all the evidence of a fun little life that the kiddos leave behind.

Having 3 under 5 naturally limited the amount of time for Jordan and I to relax and enjoy each other’s uninterrupted company. But there was an extra level of appreciation that came with each of the glasses of wine that we got to share with each other as we toasted to the survival of another day. Because there’s nobody in the world I’d rather experience this chaos with.

So yeah, it hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been special…

It’s special to do life with “Super Mom” who seems to always know what to do and more importantly what to pack! It’s special to have an angel baby that sleeps well and happily tags along with wherever we choose to go that day. It’s special to have all the love and support that continues to pour in from family and friends. It’s special going 5-wide on family walks through the neighborhood and the park. Its also special getting our individual bonding moments with our favorite kids in the world – belting out Taylor Swift with Charlie, riding bikes with Jack, and nuzzling Payson’s warm head. It’s extra special embracing each moment like it’s the last time we’ll ever be in this 3 under 5 stage. And it’s most special falling in love with a girl who I didn’t even know just a month ago.

“What’s it like having 3 under 5?”  It’s a loaded question, but I feel so damn lucky to answer it.