October 2023: Enjoy the ride

“Daddy- why didn’t they drop us off at the apples?” Charlie asked with a trace of confusion and disappointment in her voice.  

I didn’t have a good answer for her.  Frankly, I was kinda confused and disappointed too.

When I reserved the tickets for the Hayride at Lin Villa Orchards, I assumed that we’d be dropped off by the apples and/or pumpkins for a bit. But as the wagon parked in the same spot we had recently boarded, I found out that it was…

just a quick little hayride.

Don’t get me wrong. The ride itself was wonderful. Charlie and Jack snuggled up with me in the hay with their snack cups in hand. Jordan held Payson on her chest in the baby carrier. We ooo’d and ahhh’d at the colors on the trees. The kids’ eyes lit up when we saw the different kinds of apples and pumpkins. I figured the hayride would take us “to” the orchard, not just “through” the orchard, but oh well. We had a nice ride, so I shrugged it off.

But Charlie didn’t shrug it off. She insisted that I provide a valid rationale. “Why didn’t the hayride take us anywhere?” She repeated. “What was the point of that?”

I scrambled in my response, “I don’t know. I guess I signed up for the wrong one. Uhhh- Who wants to ride the ponies and eat Apple-Cider donuts?”

It worked. She was satisfied with my response. Not because it was a strong rationale, but because it offered a snack and activity worthy of forgiveness for my silly Dad mistakes. But I don’t know if I was fully satisfied with my response…until a more compelling alternative came to me later in the month.

If I had a second chance at this “teachable moment,” I would have said:

“Charlie – ya know what? Sometimes in life, it doesn’t matter where the wagon takes us or how many pumpkins we come back with. Sometimes all that matters is that we enjoy the ride – the feelings, the experiences, the memories, the snacks, the laughs, and the people we get to ride along with. In fact, an enjoyable ride might be worth all the apples in the orchard.

Because sometimes the hayride doesn’t take us where we planned. And sometimes the ultimate destination won’t be what we hoped. Sometimes we’ll get our tires stuck in the leaves and we might even veer off course and take a different route.

But the question we’ll have to ask ourselves is, “are we enjoying the ride?” Because that’s what really matters, Charlie.

It’s like the Phillies this year. How much fun was that?! The whole time, we hoped we were on our way to win the World Series. And when we lost, it was natural to feel disappointed that we walked away empty handed. But think back on that wild ride. Remember all the big home runs and close games and that exciting crowd? Remember that video we watched a bunch of times when the stadium was singing “A-OK” right before the Phillies guy hit the grand slam home run?! A World Series sure would have been a bonus, but I’m so glad we took that ride on the bandwagon together for another October.

Even for Daddy, its not always easy. I often have to remind myself of this too. I sometimes lose focus on the ride itself when I’m seeking a certain outcome. When I’m trying to be a good parent, striving to be a successful advisor or even publishing a blog post – I can’t forget about amazing ride that I’m currently on- because that’s where the fun is. Sometimes Charlie, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness, and just be happy.

I enjoyed that hayride, and I always love riding through life with you, Bear! And if we come home with apples sometimes- great! If not, I’m happy to just have some fun looking at the trees, snuggling up, and playing a little game of ‘I Spy.’

Do you understand what Daddy is trying to say?”

And just in case Charlie rolls her eyes and says, “No, Dad, you’re weird.”

I would then go with, “No? Well uhh, who wants to ride the ponies and eat apple cider donuts?!”