Historically, I haven’t been a great “new guy.” People that have gotten to know me would probably commend me for being eager, ambitious, and attracted to the spotlight. But as I’ve transitioned into new environments in the past, these same three qualities have often upset the apple cart.

For example, entering middle school as a pubescent kid jockeying for popularity, I found myself beat up in the hallway by a guy who had to “put that Janiec kid in his place.” Nevertheless, I was able bounce back to restore my reputation through the remainder of middle school, and I thought I had learned my lesson…

Until my freshman year of high school when I found myself beat up again in a different hallway by a different kid for the same basic reason. Nevertheless, I was able to bounce back to build lasting relationships through the remainder of high school, and I thought I had learned my lesson…

Until my freshman year while pledging Pike at Penn State when I ruffled some feathers by trying to put my stamp on the house before gaining the respect and credibility of the older fraternity brothers. Nevertheless, I was able to bounce back to positively impact the frat through the remainder of college, and I thought I had learned my lesson…

Until I entered the corporate world as a Vanguard intern when I attempted to win over my fellow peers with a memorable presentation at our Capstone Event. I deviated from the norms of professional presence by performing my presentation in poetic form for an audience of leaders throughout the organization. Needless to say, I was not accepted to the Accelerated Development Program upon graduation. Nevertheless, I was able to bounce back and advance through my own career path, and I thought I had learned my lesson…

Until I entered my first leadership position two years ago when I tried to make an immediate impact and adjust the way we did things in my first week on the job. Instead, I ran into walls of resistance because I lacked the credibility, context, and relationships to enable the changes that I tried to make. Nevertheless, over the two years of leadership within the department, I gradually bounced back to cultivate the relationships and deliver the impact that I initially intended. I think it was about time that I officially learned my lesson once and for all.

After screwing up these transitions the way I did, enough was enough. I vowed to be a great “new guy,” and start my next transition by building a foundation instead of digging a hole. I looked back and tried to find the common thread between all of the times I jacked up this crucial period of first impressions and foundational knowledge. Then, I did a little reading and reflecting.

In the book, The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins, I learned three things that improved my next set of transitions.

1. Build trust (Connect with others and earn credibility before doing anything. Impact is rarely made alone.)

2. Become a student of the role and the environment (Don’t try to change something you don’t fully understand. You have to be ready for the environment and the environment has to be ready for you.)

3. Start with the basics to collect small wins (Strive to make a sustainable impact after your first year instead of trying to make an immediate impact in your first week.)

With these lessons in mind, I’ve since nailed the ultimate transitions as a new husband, a new homeowner, and a new dad!

Now, I’m the new guy once again as I begin my new role in a new division at Vanguard. I’m only 7 days into my first 90 and I have a long way to go, but so far I’ve stuck to these fundamental principles as I entered my new environment. I’m committed to building trust with my teammates, my sales partner, and my clients before doing anything else. I’m dedicated to being a student of my role and my environment before attempting to make a significant impact. Finally, I’m prepared to take things day by day, so I can master the basics and collect small wins before trying to hit the home run. I’m asking you to keep me disciplined and hold me accountable.

How have these transitions gone for you as you’ve entered new environments? How do you approach being the new guy or girl? For the first time in my life, I’m ready to be the new guy. I hope I finally learned my lesson…

I don’t know if my experience as a new leader shaped how I am as a dad, or if my experience as a new dad shaped how I am as a leader. Either way, the combination of navigating both at the same time brought more fulfillment and personal growth than anything I’ve ever experienced.

Friday was my last day as a Manager in Vanguard’s Personal Advisor Services. (I started a new job today selling Vanguard products and insights to large independent advisors across the Midwest.) Yesterday was my first Father’s Day. As I reflect on the lessons I’ve learned from my first crack at leadership and fatherhood, I have three key takeaways:

1. Show up daily: To me this is the most difficult, but most important responsibility of both roles. Little wins every day have made the biggest long term impact. Contrarily, when I begin to slack on my routine, I can see it in the results. On a daily basis, I’ve needed to bring the energy, have the presence, and make the contributions to earn the squeaks from Charlie, the smiles from Jordan, and the outcomes from my advisors. Some days were easier than others, and I haven’t quite mastered these disciplined daily habits, but through my experiences with parenting and leadership, I learned the importance of showing up every day.

2. It takes a village: I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want to do this alone, so I’ve surrounded myself with great people. As a leader, I was nothing without my peers, my boss, proactive advisors on my team, and other business partners that I could always rely on. As a dad, I’ve depended on my family and friends, Daycare, baby books, and all of Charlie’s fun toys. More than anything, Jordan has been a Hall of Fame partner in crime and her patience, guidance, and example has molded me into the father that I’ve become. It takes a village to lead a team, and it takes another village to raise a child. I’m lucky to be in two of the best villages.

3. I grow from helping others grow: As a leader and a dad, the learning never stops. As I focused on the progress and development of Charlie and my team, I sometimes didn’t even realize that I was progressing right alongside of them. But looking back at the last two years as a leader and the past year as a father, I’m a different person today than when I started. I’m proud to say that the same goes for the people I’ve led.

I will continue to build upon and apply these three takeaways to everything I do. Being a leader and a father have been two of the greatest honors in my life. It was meaningful to celebrate these honors yesterday surrounded by the best that I could ever learn from.

I hope it was a special Father’s Day for all of the dads who continue to show up every day, surround themselves with the right village, and grow alongside of their kids. I also hope the experience has been as rewarding for you as it has for me.

Dear Leila,

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be known as the “Godfather.” For years, “Godfather” meant being recognized for my social and recruiting efforts as a brother of Pi Kappa Alpha (PIKE) at Penn State. There was no greater honor than a freshman pledge asking, “Is Janiec the Godfather?” After growing up and getting my priorities in order, imaginary frat titles lost the personal importance that they once had.

However, the significance of the Godfather title recently re-emerged for me. When your Mommy and Daddy, Jessi and Pete, asked your favorite Uncle Kevin to be your Godparent, the honor of Godfather took on new meaning. I promise to fully embrace my role as your dedicated supporter and trusted guide. Your baptism today commences your faithful journey and our special relationship, and I’m grateful to be part of it all.

On the day of your baptism, I feel compelled to kick off my Godparent duties with three tokens of life advice:

1. Have fun- This should be easy. Your parents find the fun in everything. In your house, music means dancing, trips are a constant, and most ordinary evenings turn into game nights. There will always be things to celebrate and people to celebrate with. In getting to know you the past 8 months, I’ve seen that you’re no different. You’re an adorable little spark plug that lights up every room. There’s never a shortage of squeaking, smiling, banging your hands, stomping your feet, flailing wildly, playing with your toys, and dancing with mommy and daddy. I encourage you to always find the fun in everything you do.

2. Be you- Watching you and Charlie grow up next to each other, you each have your own very unique personalities. You’re a wrecking ball of energy and bring laughter to everyone around you. As you grow up and develop your identity, always be the fullest version of you that you can be.

3. Your “Who” matters most- You’re lucky to have so many friends and family that love you and are here for you. You’ve got the best parents and grandparents anyone could ask for. As you grow up, nothing is more important than “who” you surround yourself with. You’re off to a good start. Be good to these people, and you’ll do just fine.

Leila, I’m proud of you, and I’m honored to be your Godparent. I can’t wait to see you grow up and become best friends with your cousin, Charlie. I’ll be right here for you along the way.

Happy Baptism,

Your Godfather, Uncle Kev

There aren’t many things as exciting as when all of your friends and family begin checking into the hotel for the big weekend. There aren’t many moments as special as the final minutes spent with your fellow groomsmen before the ceremony. There aren’t many words as moving as an officiant’s speech, an exchange of vows, or a well delivered toast. There aren’t many activities as nostalgic and warm as a cocktail hour catching up with all of the people from your past that have shaped who you’ve become. Finally, there aren’t many places as fun as a dance floor with your crew where the same moves never get old even as we get older. There’s nothing quite like a wedding.

We kicked off wedding season yesterday by celebrating the marriage of our good friends, Steve Snyder and Danielle Giuliano. I think we blew the new roof off of the Stone Harbor Yacht Club. Grammie and Pop Pop had Charlie for the weekend, so Jordan and I had 36 hours to act like the young kids we once were at the Penn State frat parties. Meanwhile, the groomsmen reverted back to the same guys we were in grade school through college. As we suited up and prepared for the day, Andrew Spinelli DJ’d the playlist on his favorite karaoke speakers. Reverend Rustad flawlessly officiated the ceremony for his two best friends. My duties were called at approximately 8 pm when the rugs needed a good cutting and the dance floor needed to come alive. The famous backbend, lasso, Miller Lite bottle microphone, and the old faithful air guitar were fully deployed. The night was finally capped off with a legendary rendition of “Piano Man” led by the bride and groom.

I’m leaving the weekend with a raspy voice, sore hamstrings, and a full heart. I don’t know when I’ll see all of these people next, but I’ll remember this night with them for a long time. It was a weekend for the books, and once I recover from this one, I look forward to all of the weddings that lay ahead of us over the next few months.

Because when you mix the love, laughter, tears, speeches, music, suits and dresses, food, drinks, and friends and family in one meaningful day, you can’t go wrong. So when Vince Vaughn asks Owen Wilson, “What’s better…Christmas or wedding season,” which one would you choose? I might have to agree with Owen’s answer.

I spent last week at work delivering Mid Year performance reviews for the advisors on my team. The review’s objective is to reflect on first half accomplishments, analyze what’s going well and what’s not going well, provide clarity on progress relative to the goals set at the beginning of the year, and establish an urgent sense of direction to finish the year strong. While it’s important to check in on these things throughout the entire year, halftime provides a great opportunity for validation, analysis, and accountability. So I’m going to do the same thing for the goals that I set in the beginning of the year (in Reflection #2: New year, new horizons). Here goes my own personal Mid-Year Review:

1. Host Charlie’s 1st birthday party- On track: The goal was to survive our first year of parenting with enough energy to get our house ready for a birthday party. Charlie is just about 7 months old, and is sitting up, laughing, babbling, and trying to crawl. In hindsight, I recognize that I was off with my goal setting for this one. The first year hasn’t been about survival, it’s been an amazing daily adventure filled with laughter, love, dancing, snuggles, and constant learning. While we will celebrate the special milestone in November, we have plenty to enjoy along the way.

2. Embrace the weddings- On track: In a year with new responsibilities and limited time for social activities, it was important that I remained present and engaged in the slew of weddings this year as my closest friends and family embark on a momentous occasion in their lives. With two bachelor parties behind me including the coordination of a 3-bachelor, 30 guest trip to Nashville, I am prepared to enter the heart of wedding season. My friends, Steve Snyder and Danielle Giuliano, kick things off next weekend and send us down a path of 7 weddings through the summer and fall. I’ve committed to help keep the dance floor active, the drinks full, and experience memorable.

3. Advance career in financial advice- On track: My goal was to take some meaningful career steps this year to build a stronger foundation within the field of financial advice. After obtaining the CFP(R) certification this spring, getting promoted to Vanguard’s Financial Advisor Services sales team this month, and resuming the final year of the MBA program at Villanova this summer, I’m on track to meet my goal. In my new role, I’ll have an opportunity to partner with independent Financial Advisors across the Midwest territory in an effort to expand the reach of Vanguard’s products and thought leadership. I’m excited about the new opportunity, and will have plenty to learn as I make the transition.

4. Publish a weekly reflection- On track: As I wrote in post #1, my goal was to publish a reflective blog each week to practice writing, capture moments, and share lessons. So far, I’ve posted 22 reflections in 22 weeks. The posts have helped more than 2700 readers reflect more than 4000 times. I hope it’s helped you become more reflective about your own year. It’s been helpful for me.

5. Play tennis again- Off track: After playing competitively in high school, I neglected the sport for several years. Since stepping away, my forehand feels like Markelle Fultz’s foul shot or Charles Barkley’s golf swing. My goal was to play consistently enough through the spring and summer to be able to join my Dad’s tennis rotation in the fall. So far, I’ve only played once and it was ugly. I need to incorporate some court time into the weekly routine in the second half of the year to get back on track.

As we set New Years goals and resolutions in January, we often fall off course by June. Writing these goals down and sharing them with others has helped me prioritize, focus, and commit to these personal objectives. Checking in at Mid Year helps me recognize and take pride in the progress that I’ve made towards these important things in my life, and also help me focus on what I need to do in the second half.

What goals did you set for yourself this year? Where do you stand relative to those goals? Which ones are on track and which ones are off? What’s your game plan in the second half?

I hope this post helps you reflect on your own year. It’s been fun for me to reflect on mine.

In our daily grind, we set ambitious goals. We fear failure. We hate losing. We stress about meeting expectations. We make sacrifices. We burn ourselves out. Then, we get our results. After briefly acknowledging the results, we move on, and we repeat the process all over again. Something seems to be missing from this never ending loop.

We have to spend some time celebrating the wins.

Last week, Jordan and I had the honor to attend Beckman Coulter’s “Inner Circle” Rewards trip in Vienna, where a select group of last year’s top sales performers from Jordan’s company celebrated their 2018 success. It was a week unlike anything I’ve ever been a part of. Horse drawn carriage rides, ballroom dancing at royal palaces, and fancy dinners on private trains isn’t typically my style, but for one special week…why not?

Amidst all of the extravagance and entertainment, I recognized all of the hard work that these top performers put into getting these results. I also know that hard work doesn’t always pay off. I remembered every other year where the same inputs weren’t quite enough for Jordan to qualify for the trip. This reinforced some important lessons that I learned from the celebration:

1. When you win/succeed and you have the chance to celebrate, make sure you soak in every moment. Remember what went into the journey and why you deserve to take in the fun.

2. Embrace those that supported you along the way and share that celebration and success with others.

3. Finally, don’t take these celebrations for granted because you don’t know when you’ll have the opportunity to feel quite like this again.

Celebrating this way creates a virtuous cycle. You begin to remind yourself of the celebration when it’s time to make that extra call. You become more hungry to go above and beyond and more likely to get in the trenches. You remember the feeling you had at Inner Circle the next 10 times you get rejected, and you keep moving forward. Your support system also becomes invested in the process to be part of the next celebration.

It doesn’t have to be an over the top trip to Vienna. Perhaps, sitting on the deck with a bottle of wine, or taking a walk in the park is sufficient. But whatever you do, celebrate the win. Recognize the accomplishment. Bask in the moment for a little bit before you move on to the next thing.

With that said, how will you celebrate your wins? How will these celebrations contribute to your resilience along the journey?

Congratulations to Jordan and the 2019 Beckman Coulter Inner Circle. It was a truly special celebration, I was honored to be part of it, and I’ll never forget the experience. Thank you Jordan for all of the work that you put in to earn it, and for taking me on this adventure. I hope we can do it again in the future.

It’s hard to believe it’s Jordan’s first Mother’s Day.

In Charlie’s first six months, the little bear has brought Jordan more joy than anything has in the previous 28 years. I had no doubt Jordan would be a good mother, but I’m still awed by how great she actually is. The truth is, she learned from the best.

We were raised by two hall of fame moms. I reflect on the love that our mothers gave us and the values they instilled in us. I recognize the sacrifices they made and the effort it takes to be a parent. The only way we can truly thank them is to carry the torch forward and pick up where we left off with our own baby. Jordan has done just that.

There’s nothing quite like a Mom. I’m glad that I’ve been surrounded by some of the best. Happy Mother’s Day to all!

Dear Jordo,

Your 27th year will be historically tough to beat. You crushed the game this year as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and sales woman. But I know you don’t like the spotlight, so I’ll keep it short.

Im proud of you, I’m grateful for you, and I’m lucky to have you. I agree with your high school guidance counselor when she said, “Jordan Bonder is the full package.”

I look forward to your 28th trip around the sun, and can’t think of a better way to kick it off than an “Inner Circle” rewards trip in Vienna. I’m excited to be your biggest fan this week and watch you shine as a leading lady. You deserve it!

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Mutter! Es wird eine Feier sein.

Happy Birthday and cheers to you, Mama! It’s going to be a special celebration.

Love,

Kevin

It doesn’t matter where it is, when it is, or what it is.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a Nashville bachelor party, wedding dance floor, summer barbecue, late night conversation with friends by a fire pit, playtime with Charlie, breakfast with Jordan, happy hour on the beach, weekly reflection, client appointment, lunch with a colleague, debate with my leadership team, or coaching session with a mentee. For me, there is nothing more gratifying than making someone smile bigger, think deeper, laugh louder, go harder, or act faster. My objective is to leave people with an extra spring in their step and a lingering thought on their minds. It is why I strive to inspire, connect, and engage the people in my life every day. My roles and environment simply serve as the platform to live this out as best as I can.

Whether you explicitly define your purpose or personal super power like this or not, it’s important to have a general idea of what it is. It could be the difference between passion and stress. Simon Sinek says, “Working hard for something you don’t care about is stress, working hard for something you love is passion.” I’ve felt both.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve continued to inventory the things in my life that bring me passion, and further pursue the things that will keep that passion alive. I feel it’s important to occasionally take stock of how I’m spending my time, and what I’m working towards to determine how I can better position myself to maximize this personal super power. As I reassessed that inventory this week, I feel confident in my game plan to fulfill this purpose as the year progresses.

How about you? I encourage you to think about your personal super power by finding the common themes that connect what you do best and what you love most. Then, look at your current situation and your future goals. Do they match up with this purpose? Assess how you generally spend your time and who you generally spend it with. Ask yourself if your current circumstances and environment are allowing your super power to thrive. If not right now, are you at least on a path to do so in the future? Are you in the right roles? Are you stretching yourself with the right challenges? Are you working on the right things?

If you are, I’m sure you’re feeling passionate. If you’re not, I’m sure you’re feeling a little stressed. Either way, it’s never too late to find this purpose and pursue it. Now is as good a time as ever to check.

Growing up, my role models were all builders. My Pop-Pop built houses for a living and built a pond, tennis court, and many other things for fun. My Dad started building houses with Pop-Pop, and then built out his own real estate development company. My father-in-law built parks, ball fields, and rec centers throughout his town. My Uncle Joe’s commercial construction company builds Wawas, restaurants, banks, and more, while he personally builds classic cars and entertainment venues.

By looking up to these men, I was destined to become a builder myself. However, when I failed the “stool” project in my 7th grade shop class and struggled to put out a competitive car in the Pinewood Derby, I recognized that the vocation wasn’t in the cards for me. Despite all that I learned from my role models, handiwork and craftsmanship didn’t seem to transfer.

Fortunately, I had a different takeaway from observing their success over the years. In watching Pop Pop, Dad, Pop Bonder, and Uncle Joe do what they do best, I learned that the beauty wasn’t what they built or even how they built. The beauty was who they build with and who they build for.

This weekend, Uncle Joe hosted an over-the-top party to reveal his latest classic car restoration. While he’s already built and restored several classic cars on his own without any commemorative parties, this one was different. This party celebrated the Super Bowl Edition Classic Camaro named “The Philly Special” that he worked on with his nephews (the Schorn boys) and friends (the Cruse boys). More than that, the celebration honored the journey, the process, the lessons from the garage, the teamwork, the resilience through the setbacks, the visionary ideas that made it to the finished product, and the achievement of the crew he completed the project with over several years of hard work. This party was not to celebrate a car that he built, but rather to celebrate the guys that he built with. Seeing those young men absorbing every word, action, and moment from their heroic Uncle Joe yesterday reminded me of the lessons that I learned from the builders in my life while growing up.

Let’s be clear. I learned nothing about beams, joists, drywall, and motors. I couldn’t tell you the first thing about the architecture, carpentry, engineering, or mechanics. I’ll admit that I’m slightly embarrassed by my lack of ability with a drill or a hammer.

Instead, I learned the more important lessons of building from these guys. They taught me that you need a thoughtful plan and a solid foundation before building up. I learned where you need to be structured and where it’s encouraged to be creative. I learned the significance of maintaining a sustainable environment and a strong support system. I learned that you must finish what you’ve started. I learned to take pride in my work. Most of all, I learned the importance of enjoying the journey, celebrating the process, and recognizing who I’m building with and who I’m building for.

I think of these lessons as I build my career. I think of these as I build my financial advisory team. I think of these as I build my friendships. I think of these as we build our family.

As you read this, who are you currently building with? Who are you building for? What have you learned from it all?

After all, the beauty is not in what we build or how we build, but who we build with and who we build for. So with that, let’s keep building.