When my father-in-law was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer, doctors told him that he only had a few months to live.

Yet here we are, 10 years later, and Pop is feeling more alive than ever!

This June, our family watched Pop give the keynote speech at Jefferson Hospital’s Cancer Survivor Day. Then days later, we celebrated with him as he finished the 70 mile “Bridge to the Beach” Bike Ride. On Father’s Day, he walked from the park to the ice cream shop with my daughter on his shoulders.

Although Pop is doing great now, his long battle hasn’t been easy. Just a few years after losing his wife to cancer, his own terminal diagnosis brought a roller coaster of complications and adversity.

Fortunately, medical miracles performed at various world class hospitals have helped him survive for a decade longer than doctors had estimated. But what’s even more powerful than the extent of the “bonus time,” is his approach to fully LIVE each extra day that he’s given. His prescription for living consists of a daily dose of his 4 Fs: FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS, and FITNESS.

The 4 Fs became clear as Pop prayed towards the beginning of his fight. In one of the prayers, he negotiated a deal with God that went something like: “…for each extra day you let me stick around, I’ll make you a promise. I will do whatever the doctors prescribe, and I’ll focus all of my remaining energy on the things that matter most in my life.

I’ll keep the FAITH. I’ll start and finish every day with prayer. Most of the time, I won’t be praying for you to fix the bad in my life. I’ll be simply thanking you for all the good in my life and asking for the strength to pay it forward to others. I’ll be the joyous, upbeat, grateful guy you made me to be. I’ll be that friendly neighbor who smiles and says “Hi” to every dog and person I walk by on the street. I’ll pass out hats and scarves to the homeless on Christmas Eve. I’ll bring life lessons and enthusiasm to the classroom as a substitute teacher, and I’ll share my story to connect with and inspire other families impacted by cancer.

I’ll prioritize time with FAMILY. I’ll be the biggest cheerleader for my kids and grandkids and pour my full heart into each new little grandbaby that you let me meet. I will send long winded, ALL CAPS words of encouragement with entirely too many emojis to the family group chat. I’ll give a toast at both of my daughters’ weddings. I’ll cut the turkey every Thanksgiving if you give me a seat at the table. I’ll rally 36 of my extended family members from 7 different states to the Outer Banks for the week of a lifetime. I promise to keep my wife’s legacy flourishing by staying positive and putting family first.

I will be there for my FRIENDS. In fact, I will treat guys like Jonesy, Bobby, Murph, and many others as if they’re my brothers. I’ll cherish every opportunity to go on a new adventure, get together for a ball game, or sit around and laugh about old stories. I’ll be there for their families – whatever they need. And I’ll never forget the friends that show up when I need them most.

I’ll commit to my FITNESS. I’ll find a way to grab a workout, take the dog for a run, or go for a swim no matter how I’m feeling. Heck- I’ll even start doing Zumba and Yoga. I’ll run the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I’ll ride my bike from the Ben Franklin Bridge to the Atlantic City Boardwalk (even when my son-in-law encourages me to find a shorter route). I’ll do what I can to take care of my body, so the doctors have more time to work their magic.

I’ll dedicate each day I’m here to those 4 Fs. What do you say, God? Want to give it a try?”

A decade after Pop prayed for that deal, both parties have held up their end of the bargain. God granted Pop a 10-year contract extension. In return, Pop kept the faith, led his family, showed up for his friends, and committed to his fitness. As God continues to renew Pop’s miracle, Pop uses the extra time to create even more memories, spread more love, and help more people.

And the way I see it – isn’t that kinda the point of life?

While I’m writing about the 4 Fs, I need to recognize a woman that might have embodied these pillars as much as anyone I’ve ever known.  

A few weeks ago, Ghada Ayoub, my brother-in-law Pete’s mom, passed away after a battle with Leukemia.

Like Pop, she managed to extend her life much longer than any doctor would’ve imagined by always putting her mind over matter. And with each bonus day that she earned through the strength of her will to live, her commitment to faith, family, friends, and fitness never wavered. She persevered through the struggle and used the precious time she was given to create special memories, learn/teach important lessons, walk thousands of miles, and overfeed her family and friends with abundant love, food, and inspiration!

I always left her company with a big hug, an inflated ego, a full heart, a stuffed belly, and some extra zest for life. She lit up every room with love, kindness, and courage. I have no doubt her positive spirit will continue to shine through the people that she touched. I’m going to miss Ghada, but I’m so glad to know her, and grateful to have spent several “bonus days” with her.

So thank you Pop and thank you Ghada! With each bonus day that I get, I’ll always strive to live by your example of the 4 Fs.

Since we left Penn State 10 years ago, our crew has upgraded from caps and gowns to diaper bags and mortgages. And things are a little different now. We are a little more responsible. A little more mature. A little more experienced. We’ve gone from Sperry wearing frat boys and student athletes to New Balance rocking dads and professionals.

But when that inaugural Natty Light was cracked on the first tee box at Toftrees, the group was back at Penn State like we never left.

As we returned to State College for weekend of shenanigans a decade after graduation, our golf swings have gotten much better. But the banter in the cart feels just like I remember.

The “Mind Eraser” drinks are now more affordable, but they still get the laughter and the dance moves flowing like they used to.

On Sunday I knew I had to return home to plant tomatoes in the garden and play with the kiddos in the sandbox, but the boys and I still belted Sublime, Lil Wayne, and Mac Miller all weekend like it was daylong season circa 2012.

And yeah I’ll admit, there were a few discussions about 529 plans, management consulting projects, corporate finance, and Real Estate Investment Trusts…but there were also many conversations that reverted back to our college maturity levels.

The price you pay for consecutive late nights is now a little more daunting, but the morning recap with the boys is always just like the good old days.

My “friends cup” is as full today as those ice-cold Miller Lite pounders that we purchased at the turn. The squad has a few more grey hairs, but the cool thing is – on certain weekends in certain places with certain people- it’s like we’ve stayed the same age. I hope that never changes.

Thank you to all of our wives for the green light to pull this off.

Thank you Spins for the awesome hospitality.

Thank you boys for a special weekend.

Should we run it back next year?

“What are some things that we can do with money?”

A sea of little hands shot up in the air. As I called on each highly engaged 1st or 2nd grader, I heard a variety of responses.

“Buy toys. Get things we need like food, water, and shelter. Go to Disney World! Give it to people who need it more than we do. Save it for a rainy day.”

Then, one student confidently dropped some knowledge through his tooth fairy rich smile, “We can invest our money to grow it. The growth compounds over time and builds more wealth.”

In that moment, I was hopeful for the future of America.

During Financial Literacy Month- otherwise known as April- I went on a Charlie Buys a Bike tour at local schools (including Charlie’s class) to teach kids about saving money. When I first sat down in the tiny plastic chair, I felt a little out of place like Billy Madison. But as I watched the students’ eyes widen with each thoughtful question and insightful answer, I felt a spark being (financially) lit.

During each visit to Chesterbrook Academy, Westtown-Thornbury, and Rose Tree Elementary, we would take a few minutes to discuss various ways to give, save, and spend money. We talked about why saving is important and how to overcome the challenges that get in the way of our plan. The kids shared different ways they earn money around the house and accumulate cash in their own piggy banks. After a few minutes of conversation, I would read Charlie Buys a Bike to share a fun example of how we can save for the things we love. After the story and a bit of Q&A, I would sign some pre-ordered books while each motivated student created their own savings plan using the activity from the book.

Throughout Chester and Delaware County, there is now a growing population of 6 and 7 year-olds hustling to earn money and proactively saving up for doll houses, video games, bikes, pets, Taylor Swift tickets, and basketball sneakers. I left each session so impressed and I may have offered a few future internships. I have to agree with the 2nd grader from Westtown-Thornbury who told her parents, “Today was awesome. Like sooo good, Mom.”

Going forward, I plan to expand the financial literacy program for 1st-3rd graders at local camps this summer and more schools in the fall.  If you are interested in helping your kids or students develop these foundational skills, please let me know. I encourage you to email kevin@thenewealthproject.com and consider sharing this offer with a camp director, elementary school teacher/administrator, or local youth leader.

My takeaway from working with young students in the classroom was similar to my experience working with young parents in the New Wealth Project conference room: Having a clear and intentional savings plan can be powerful – no matter the age or stage.

After all, there’s nothing cooler than hearing a first grader say, “I want to save up to buy a pair of running shoes, so I can start going on jogs with Mommy.”

THAT is “Financially Lit.”

I’m a headcase on the golf course.  At least on the first tee box, and especially when it’s my first time playing with a group.

Experts say “Don’t grip the club tight,” but I damn near blister my hands on that initial swing.  They say “Keep your head down,” but I’m too often whipping my head up to see the ball dribble off into the weeds. They say “Slow your swing,” but I’m coming out of my shoes like Gary Sheffield. 

My dad knows this about me.  So when I joined him and his buddies during our recent trip to Florida for my first round of the year, he suggested that I ride in the cart with his friend, Cuddy.  “He’s a fun guy.  He’ll be good for you,” Dad promised. 

From the few times that I’ve hung out with him, Cuddy reminds me of a combo between Owen Wilson and Pete Carroll.  He has an accent from his upbringing in New England, a chill demeanor from spending most of his adult life in Southern California, and a love for golf with the boys from his retirement in Florida.  I’ve been a big fan of the guy since meeting him, so I happily threw my bag on his cart. 

The round began how it often does when I entrench myself in internally manufactured pressure.  I duffed my first three tee shots, and I was staying true to my generous handicap early in the round.  I was about ready to forfeit my “Dad’s day out” on the course to go swim with Charlie and Jack in the community pool. 

But then Cuddy cracked open the cooler. He got the banter going. We had great conversations. He got me to loosen up without ever having to say, “loosen up.”

As I settled in and started playing better, Cuddy was more excited about my comeback than I was.  And when he chipped in on 6, we laughed like little kids and celebrated with a group shot of “Birdie juice.”  He grabbed the speaker in our cart, changed the song, and turned up the volume.   I looked at him confused and asked, “Dude, is this Kygo Radio?”  “Hell yeah,” he responded. “We’re playing too well to listen to that Oldies music coming from your Dad’s cart.” 

For the rest of the afternoon, I relaxed my swing and struck the ball with confidence, and leveraged my handicap to help us win our friendly competition. I soaked in the beautiful day, gorgeous course, and quality time with the boys. My cart partner was always right there – to read the green, supply an extra tee, provide a high five and a laugh, or open that cooler one more time.

It quickly became one of the most fun rounds that I’ve ever played, and because of it, I played the best back 9 of my life.  My takeaway: “Who rides in your cart” can make all the difference. (And while it makes for a better story to write about one main character- I have to thank Dad and Brownie for being just as enjoyable to play with.)

Cuddy and the crew’s positive vibes turned a good time into a great memory. Their genuine interest instilled confidence and reduced pressure. Their hospitality as my pseudo-caddie made the whole experience effortless. Thanks Gents!

Going forward, I hope to bring that “Cuddy effect” to people that ride in my cart- or my life. I hope friends and clients walk away from a day or a meeting with me and say – “Damn – that was fun” or “I play better when I ride with Janiec.”

This spring – Who do you want riding in your cart? Maybe more importantly, who will want you to ride in theirs? Quick pro tip: Sometimes it only takes a cooler, a big smile, and a little Kygo radio to change the entire experience…

I recently published my first children’s book, so I might as well share it with the world on Dr. Seuss Day!

I love story time with my kiddos.  There’s nothing better than snuggling up with Charlie and Jack and seeing them learn and light up with each turn of the page.  Whether they are shouting out the lines to their favorite books or getting excited about a brand-new story, it’s always a special experience. 

I look on my kids’ bookshelves (and at the books scattered all over the floor of our living room and our car), and see all the stories that have sparked important conversations, taught valuable lessons, and created significant memories in the Janiec house.  Like how Charlie and Jack learned what it means to be a good friend from Little Blue Truck and were reminded why it’s important to eat their broccoli and peas from Just Try One Bite.  I consider how Little Helpers got my kids to stop running the water on full blast while they brush their teeth, and how Oh the Places You’ll Go gave them a roadmap for navigating life.  I think about how many times we’ve read I’m a Big Sister and I’m a Big Brother to prepare them for our new baby on the way. 

So as a financial advisor and a dad who strives to help his kids set goals, build plans, and take action to fill up their piggy banks – I’ve been looking for a book that would teach basic financial literacy in a fun way.

I wanted to find a rhyming story with an adorable main character who inspires kids to earn and save money for the things they love.  I wanted the book to teach foundational principles that are relevant for both kids and parents.  I wanted the book to spark conversations about priorities and why it’s important to sometimes delay gratification and consider opportunity costs when making choices.  I wanted a book that would guide little readers to create their own savings plans. 

But I couldn’t quite find the book I was looking for.  So I wrote my own.

My book, Charlie Buys a Bike, is a fun rhyming story for kids (pre-K to 3^rd grade) in which a little girl and her mom teach us a timeless lesson about saving money for important purchases.  Archway Publishing Company helped my vision and words come to life with professional illustrations and production.

In the story, when Charlie sees a bike at the store, it is love at first sight! Unfortunately, she doesn’t have enough money to buy the bike…yet. With guidance from her mom, Charlie learns how to save money so she can purchase the bike herself one day. But as she is about to discover, putting away money is easier said than done. Charlie must stay focused on her goal despite offers for ice cream, toys, and roller coaster rides.  You’ll have to buy a copy to find out whether Charlie loves the bike enough to come up with what she needs. 

I hope Charlie Buys a Bike creates an opportunity for you to talk with your kids about something they would like to buy and how they can earn and save enough money to make it happen.  I anticipate that it will be one of those stories that your children (and maybe you) are reciting around the house and in the classroom.  And I bet that by investing about 20 bucks in this book, you’ll actually save money the next few times the ice cream truck pulls through your neighborhood. 

If you are interested in buying a copy for your family, friends, or classrooms, please do one of the following:

1. For a signed book (from me and maybe even Charlie), please email charliebuysabike@gmail.com with your name, mailing address, and the number of copies that you would like to order.
   • This is my preferred method because I have plenty of inventory at home to send out.
   • (Pricing including shipping costs is Hardcover: $23, Softcover: $15)

• You can also purchase a hardcover, softcover, or e-book online at:

Charlie Buys a Bike @ Amazon

Charlie Buys a Bike @ Barnes & Noble

If you and your kids enjoy the story, please help spread the word the following ways:

1. Share with friends and family.
2. Follow @charliebuysabike on Instagram. 
3. Write an Amazon review.
4. Reach out to set up a reading at your local school, library, or community center. 

Despite encouragement and support from close friends and family, I’ll admit that I’ve been nervous about sharing this project with the public. 

But now that Charlie Buys a Bike is here, I think about how I wanted to be a published author since I was in first grade.

I see the excitement in Charlie and Jack’s eyes each time they see themselves as characters in a book and how proud Charlie is to show her friends and teachers.

I experienced how much fun it was to read the book this week to 3^rd grade students for Read Across America. 

I notice how many “saving money” conversations that the book has already started between Charlie and I, and I think about the potential for this resource to help young kids and families develop great habits at a young age. 

So whether I sell 10 copies or 10,000, I’m officially glad I did this.  And there’s no turning back now.

Charlie Buys a Bike is available at a book-store near you.  Enjoy!

When the ultrasound confirmed that our 3rd baby was progressing right on schedule, Jordan and I took a sigh of relief and a moment to celebrate. We hugged and thought about how blessed we’ve been and how excited we are for this next chapter. But as we pulled away from our joyous embrace, my mind wandered off to acknowledge a new reality:

We’re about to be outnumbered.

Since Jack was born, Jordo and I have successfully managed the 1:1 parent/child ratio. I mean if you dropped by unexpectedly at 6:30 pm on a Wednesday or 4 pm on a Sunday, you might find a messy house or witness the occasional meltdown..(by either a kid or a parent)…but so far, I think it’s safe to say that we survived all the trick plays they threw our way.

With a new addition to our family this summer, our 1:1 approach won’t be sufficient, so it is probably time for Jordo and I to switch our “Man to Man” defense to a “Zone.” I tried pleading with the refs that there were too many players on the court already, but life said “Play on!”

In a zone defense, each defender covers an area of the court instead of a specific player.  Successful zones require active hands to defend the ball and protect the passing lanes. It requires constant communication to stay cohesive as a defensive unit as the offense attacks from different angles.  Good zone defenses always know who they’re up against, so they can adjust accordingly to the unique skillsets of the other team.

I realized that the principles of success in a zone defense are the same as the keys to survival for parents. 

Principle 1: Active Hands

When Jordo and I are fully present and feeling energized with our eyes up, hands at the ready, and feet moving, we’re on our A-game. When we’re checking our phones, feeling drained from the night before, or distracted by something else, we drop our hands and stop moving our feet.

That’s right about the moment when Jack starts drawing on the walls with marker or Charlie tries to cut up a cucumber or Facetime a stranger. Then, we’re scrambling, out of position, and we start pointing fingers and experiencing breakdowns in our team defense.

Active hands is about changing that extra diaper, staying present during playtime, getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the crying baby, doing the dishes/folding the laundry basket, keeping the baby gates closed, and proactively doing all the little things that make a big difference.

I’ll admit that I drop my hands from time to time. It’s not easy amidst the grind of “the game of life.” I also have a bad habit of noticing and getting frustrated when Jordo drops hers too. We’re working on active hands every day in practice leading up to our new baby…because we’re gonna need ‘em up this summer and the next 18 summers after this. I think we’ll be ready.

Principle 2: Constant communication

Rather than calling out a “pick” or alerting teammates that the opponent is flashing to the “high post,” we need to be clear and consistent with our own parenting commands:

“Hey, I’m cleaning the baby’s blow out. Can you help Charlie pour her milk in the cereal bowl?”

“Jack just ran outside and is riding his bike without a coat. I’m gonna go get him. Can you take over with the baby? Charlie is coloring at the kitchen table.”

Communication isn’t just calling out observations and movements in the moment. It’s also about admitting when we need a little “weak side help.” And we can’t forget to call out the great work our teammate is doing and express our gratitude for each other during every time out.

3 kids will be loud and fast moving. The more things move, the harder it is to communicate. I tend to mumble or go silent when I’m overwhelmed and frustrated, and Jordo has a different communication style in stressful environments (that I’ll let her share in her own forum), so we’ll be practicing “Communication” this entire preseason. Wish us luck!

Principle 3: Know who you’re up against

Just like how you need to locate the shooter or cutter in a Zone defense, we need to have a clear understanding of who we’re up against as parents. 

We’ve got a sensitive one, a whacko one, one that loves sleep, one that finds excuses to get out of bed, one that craves attention, and one that needs space. Despite these identities constantly evolving and sometimes even flip flopping, we’ve developed a pretty good scouting report on Charlie and Jack over the years.  I love doing the homework and learning the very intricacies of the people we’re up against. In a few months, we’re going to meet a new player that will test our strategy with his/her own set of challenges, and we can’t wait to see who Charlie and Jack bring home in their newest draft class.

As we transition our “Man to Man” defense as a family of 4 to a Zone defense as a family of 5, we’re preparing in practice every day to get better at these guiding principles.  I think we’ll be ready to take on this beautiful challenge that awaits us…

But if we aren’t ready… keep your phone on…we may be calling for an occasional sub!

It was an honor serving as the Best Man in Justin & Jessica’s wedding last month in Brentwood, Ca.

Here’s an inside look at my toast to Mr. and Mrs. Orton:

---

“…I’ve been best friends with Justin since 7th grade.

And I’m confident the same qualities that make him a great friend are the same qualities that will make this a great marriage. 

Because for as long as I’ve known him, Ort has gone “All in” for his teams.  If you’ve ever played any sport with JO25, or watched a football game with Captain Cowboy, or nowadays, if you’ve seen Coach Justin at a Nitro Renegades Softball Tournament- you know exactly what I mean.

He’s loyal, passionate, and willing to do whatever it takes for his people and his squad. 

And he does it with so much love in his soul. And a swagger in his step. And a smile on his face.

The guy I saw singing Blink 182 at the top of his lungs in Dewey Beach – sweating through his Tommy Bahamas – is the same guy who was always there for me growing up… picking me up in his Red Kia, often not knowing what the plans were- just knowing we’d have fun no matter what was ahead of us.

What I’m trying to say is: Justin Orton is ALL IN, ALL LOVE, and ALWAYS UP FOR A GOOD TIME. 

You probably know this from your own stories and experiences with him. You likely felt this in the bear hug that he gave you when you greeted him tonight. I promise you- We’ll see this on the dance floor in a little bit.  And we all know we saw this in the look on his face when Jess walked down the aisle.  We’re all lucky to know this about Ort.

But nobody knows these qualities better than Jess, Aubrey, and Mason. 

Shortly after he met them, they quickly became the top priority in his life. They became “his team.” He committed 100% to his role as a boyfriend and a father figure since Day 1. Whenever I’d see this couple together – or anytime I’d ask Justin about Jess – there was that spark that told me this is the real deal. And I was damn sure he would bring those qualities, that love, and that commitment into their future together.

But you know what I’ve also noticed seeing them over the past 5 years… not many people are more all in, all love, and always up for a good time than Jessica Orton!  She’s JO 2.0.

As a mom, girlfriend, a professional- Jess brings that same passion, that same care, and that same zest for life that I admire in her husband.  And if you’ve seen the way she is with Mason and Aubrey, and now Justin, you know how special her heart is.  Jess, the same qualities that have made you a great friend to me and everyone else here, have made you “the one” for my best friend. 

I’ll close by saying, standing up here tonight makes me think about something Justin wished for when we were growing up.

Ort, whose always been a sucker for “Chick flicks” and “Rom coms,” used to tell me while wearing his varsity jacket in our high school parking lot, “Man, I wish life were like the movies, ya know, where the beautiful girl falls in love with the star athlete.”

It didn’t quite work out that way for him back then, but my man-

That love story you’ve always wanted is coming true today!

And I promise you both:

if you go all in on the vows that you made today.

And pursue each other with joy and excitement the way you did in the Summer of 2017.

And continue to live your motto by “Relaxing your body, focusing your mind, and enjoying the ride”…

your marriage will be the best movie that you’ve ever seen. And you will get to press play every day for the rest of your life.”

---

So please raise a glass to these newlyweds. And as we make our own movies this Holiday Season, may we vow to be all in, all love, and always up for a good time…just like the Ortons.

Orton wedding video: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CmF3jLJjNwj/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I can’t claim to be a true Phillies fan. I was all in on the Phils during their golden years from 2007-2011, but admit that I haven’t paid much attention to Baseball since their last playoff run. So I appreciate the Philly Sports faithful for welcoming me back on the bandwagon. Because the ride through Red October was one I’ll never forget!

I’ll remember watching the 6-run rally against the Cardinals in the 9th with Jordo, Rustad, and the Moutons on Barnaby’s patio.

I’ll remember my friends, Kyle and Ryan, briefing me on the Phillies’ lineup at Andrea’s house so I didn’t seem like such a fair weather fan going forward.

I’ll remember watching the Rhys Hoskins bat slam with our friends at the Fame Fire House Food Truck Fundraiser.

I’ll remember how JT Realmuto’s inside-the-park home run against the Braves lifted the spirits of the Spinelli house just minutes after Michigan trounced Penn State.

I’ll remember watching the Phils come back from a 4-0 deficit to beat the Padres while enjoying a few too many on the Mouton’s brand new back porch.

I’ll remember snuggling with my sick kids on a rainy day as Bryce Harper created one of the greatest moments in Philly Sport’s history. How could I ever forget Jack cheering, “Daddy, we goin doo duh wuhld seedees!”

I’ll remember Game 1 against Houston, when I somehow managed to stay awake for Castellanos’ sliding catch and JT’s game winning home run. Can we start the games at 7 pm next time?

I’ll remember watching Game 2 with the Mastronardo family in my “Phillies official Bandwagon” shirt. I’m still convinced if Meliss kept the good luck rally towel on top of her head, the Schwar-Bomb would’ve been a fair ball and Game 2 would’ve had a different outcome.

I’ll remember the good luck that my niece, Natalie Francis Altano, brought the day she was born. On Natalie’s birthday, November 1st, 2022 – the Phils hit 5 home runs at Citizens Bank Park and an earthquake was detected in the city of Philadelphia.

I’ll remember Charlie’s birthday, where I watched a 2 year old boy, a 4 year old girl, and their 89 year old great grandmother getting equally excited about the Phils game. For an entire family that didn’t watch more than 10 total games from August 2012 – August 2022, we were on the edge of our seat for every pitch.

I’ll remember watching Game 6 with the Bonders at a party in Haddon Township as we washed down the pain of elimination with cold beers, homemade pizza, and karaoke.

And more than any of the games, I’ll remember blasting “Dancing on my Own” on the rides to daycare. I’ll remember the back and forth in the group texts and the hype in the neighborhood, grocery store, office, and everywhere else we went. I’ll remember all of the bonus quality time with friends and family created by the unexpected World Series run.

That’s the beauty of sports. Red October unexpectedly transformed social calendars and infused positive energy throughout the community. It brought die hard and Bandwagon fans together, and created moments that none of us could have expected. And while the Phillies didn’t walk away with a World Series, we walk away with so many shared memories that we’ll inevitably reminisce during their next playoff run.

At the same time, just across the Walt Whitman Bridge in Camden County, another type of Red October was in motion. Led by Coach Jimmy Bonder, the Nick Saban/John Wooden/Phil Jackson of High School Soccer, The Haddon Township Hawks were in the midst of another State Championship Run.

And during that run, some will remember the Penalty Kick Shoot out to beat Shawnee in the Coaches Cup, the header to win the South Jersey final against Glassboro, or the flying volley to win the State championship against Waldwick.

But I’ll remember watching Charlie, Jack, and Cole storming the field to jump into Jimmy’s arms after his team won. I’ll remember Pop’s long, joyful, emoji laden texts recapping all the soccer games in our family group chat. I’ll remember belting out “We are the Champions” with Coach Bonder at a party with his friends.

Again, that’s the beauty of sports. And a few weeks ago, sports were at their most beautiful. I hope we feel the same magic when USA makes a run at the World Cup, the Eagles march towards the Super Bowl, Penn State wins a New Years 6 Bowl, or when the Sixers somehow find the conference finals, but until then…this Thanksgiving I am grateful for the bandwagon ride through Red October.

The Great Blue Heron visits a few days each week. It’s usually brief and relatively uneventful. He just pokes around the pond for a bit, quietly checking up on the scene. He stops for a quick snack and an occasional squawk, and then he takes off back towards the sunset.

“Where do you think the Pop Pop Bird is going?” asked Charlie from the kitchen window as she watched the Heron fly away.

“I’m not really sure,” I replied, not sure whether to guess or a make up a story.

“I think he’s going back to heaven,” she suggested confidently.

“Yeah…you might be right,” I mumbled with a quiver in my voice and a tear in my eye.

A little more than 5 years ago and for as long as I can remember, the Heron was Pop Pop’s favorite bird. The bird served as his partner around the pond and unlike those pesky geese, it was a welcomed addition to the backyard scenery. The bird’s presence is grand but unassuming. He blends in from a distance, but the simple notion that he’s there is comforting. I remember watching the bird from Grandmom and Pop Pop’s dinner table when I was growing up.

Nowadays, it’s Charlie and Jack dropping spoons in their bowl of cheerios and running over to the kitchen window to see the bird before school. And while they never met the real Tony Janiec, they’re pretty convinced he’s become the “Pop Pop Bird.” And I have no reason to disagree with them. Because whenever the Pop Pop Bird visits, he shares the same mannerisms, interests, and qualities that I remember of the guy who built this place.

So when the bird soars in each morning and lands at the edge of the pond, Charlie and Jack hoot, holler, and bang on the window. But once the chaos and excitement calms, I often use his presence as an opportunity to pass down the lessons that he would teach if he was still here:

“The Pop Pop Bird is coming by to make sure you eat all your broccoli.”

“The Pop Pop Bird wants you to be a good listener for Mommy and Daddy.”

“The Pop Pop Bird is checking to see if you’ve been taking care of the tomatoes in the garden.”

And while I use the bird as a convenient messenger for my parental commands and lessons, the bird also nudges me to keep his important traditions and values alive. His presence reminds me to clean up the yard, stay active, take care of my family, and to appreciate the simple things in life and nature.

It bums me out that my kids never got to meet my Pop Pop. Seeing the adorable relationship that they have with their GiGi (my Grandmom), I can only imagine how they’d be with him.

On Saturday, October 1st, all of Grandmom and Pop Pop’s kids, grandkids, and great grandchildren came together to celebrate Grandmom’s 89th and what would’ve been Pop Pop’s 93rd birthday. It was shortly after the 5 year anniversary of Pop Pop’s passing. We told stories and shared memories around the fire pit. We watched football, enjoyed drinks, and ate food. We scattered his ashes around all of his favorite spots on the property.

We sprinkled Pop Pop where he worked tirelessly on his tennis game with his friends and family.

We sprinkled Pop Pop by the pond which served as his pride, joy, and sanctuary, but also his daily challenge against the geese and algae.

We sprinkled Pop Pop by the large oaks and maples in the backyard which signified that he was the type of guy to plant trees so others could enjoy the shade.

We sprinkled Pop Pop in the garden where he was always pushing tomatoes, spinach, and zucchini. The seeds that he planted will continue to blossom for generations…even though Jordan and I manage the garden like busy millennials.

We sprinkled Pop Pop in the shrubs around the deck where Grandmom and Pop Pop would often bring people together a good meal, conversation, and ambiance. It’s where Jordan and I continue to host our own parties.

And we sprinkled Pop Pop in the driveway circle where he used to work on his fitness in his 80s by doing laps with his bike. It’s same circle that Charlie and Jack do laps with their bikes today.

The lively gathering of 21 adults and 8 little kids showcased the legacy that Grandmom and Pop Pop established. Everyone is headed the right direction and rapidly expanding the family tree with the same core values that we learned from Grandmom and Pop Pop.

Now, as Jordan and I live in the house that Pop Pop and Grandmom lived in, maintain the yard that they worked so hard on, raise our kids with many of the values that they taught us, and continue growing the family that they loved – they will always play a big role in my life and the generations that will follow me.

And whether it’s a special event like Saturday, or a quiet summer day when I look out by the firepit and see Grandmom reading a book or singing “The Wheels on the Bus” with her Great Grandchildren, or if it’s just another Wednesday morning and I look out towards the Pond to see the Pop Pop Bird poking around, I continue to get a feeling of “Home Sweet Home” and a reminder of where I come from that’s difficult to match.

Charlie asked me recently, “Will Gigi become a bird one day?” Again with a quiver in my voice and a tear in my eye, I replied “Maybe. Hopefully not for a while, but that’d be nice, wouldn’t it? When she does, she’s always welcome at our house…unless she comes back as a Goose.”

She nodded and walked away content with my response. “Good. I like when the Pop Pop Bird visits. I hope Gigi Bird does too.”

I’m often asked, “Will you make your kids go to Penn State?”

My answer is, “Of course, not.”

I don’t know what kind of students Charlie and Jack will be in 2038…or what higher education is going to look like…or what it’s going to cost…or if Penn State is still going to be everything it was for me 30 years prior. So I feel like it’d be too narrow minded and near sighted to say my Happy Valley needs to be their Happy Valley.

But…there are three things I took away from my college experience that I will make sure Charlie and Jack look for in wherever they decide to go.

1. A place where they can “Cultivate their Who.”

I believe who we surround ourselves with plays a major factor in our journey, perspective, and trajectory in life. I also believe college can provide a golden opportunity to cultivate who these people are.

I met the girl who became my wife in a filthy fraternity mansion on the corner of Garner and Prospect Ave. A few random strangers in the East Dining Halls and Pollock Commons became my best friends. Some of my high school crew became more like family as we transitioned our social lives from our parents’ basements to our own off campus housing. Through classes, organizations, and social events, different people came into my world for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Many of those people made more of an impact on me than they would ever know. And since Penn State was located relatively close to where I grew up and where I hoped to end up, many of my closest family and friends are still hanging together with our growing families in blue and white outfits on Saturdays in the fall.

I’m grateful for my Penn State experience because of the people in brought into my life. 

I’m hopeful that Charlie and Jack will choose a school that allows them to do the same.

2. A place where they can “Discover their Ikigai.”

I believe the closer that young people can get to their “Ikigai” (see graphic below), the more successful they will be in all aspects of their life. I also believe college can provide a golden opportunity to discover what your Ikigai might be.

My Ikigai was shaped through the college leaderships positions that I loved and the ones that I loathed. It was discovered through the committee assignments in which I thrived and the ones where I failed. It was found in the classes that inspired me to show up early and the ones that I skipped. My Ikigai was largely discovered through the big things like dancing in THON, pledging PIKE, and my time as Frat Rush Chair, but it was also shaped by subtle influences throughout my entire college experience.

I’m grateful for my Penn State experience because of what it taught me about my Ikigai.

I hopeful that Charlie and Jack will choose a school that allows them to do the same.

3. A place where you want to “keep coming back.”

I believe in the importance of finding those favorite places in the world that you can keep coming back to. I also believe college is a golden opportunity to find one of those places.

When I woke up at sunrise on Saturday, September 10^th (Jack’s 2^nd birthday), and my kids and I went for a morning walk a mile from campus, that familiar chill in the air brought me right back to one of my favorite places in the world. After a little breakfast and a lot of pre-game hype at the Spinellis with the Rustads and the Snyders (a few of the roommates that Jordan and I did this with every Saturday 10 years ago), we ventured over to the tailgate lots.

When Beaver Stadium came into view, Charlie and Jack revealed the same expression that I had as a little kid attending Penn State games…in fact, it was the same expression that Jordan and I still have on our face every time we approach that campus. The moments that followed at the tailgate, in the game, and on the Lion Shrine reaffirmed how glad I am that Jordan, my friends and my family continue to have this common bond and tradition to rally around year after year.

I’m grateful Penn State is a place where I want to “keep coming back.”

I hopeful Charlie and Jack will choose a school that feels the same. 

Wherever Charlie and Jack go and whatever they pursue, I’m confident if they focus on these three things, they’ll find their own Happy Valley.

And while I am biased in my own experience at Penn State, I know many people found their own WHO, their own Ikigai, and their own favorite place at schools of all shapes, sizes, and locations.  I also know some people that were able to find these things without going to college at all.

But with that said… I couldn’t help but notice Charlie and Jack’s face light up when they saw The Lion.  I heard the excitement in their voice when they squealed “We Are…Penn State” and “Let’s Go P-S-U.”  I witnessed how they danced to the music from the Blue Band and sound system in between plays.  I experienced how much Jack loves tailgate snacks.  And I saw how adorable they were in their blue and white attire.

So will I make my kids go to Penn State? Of course, not.

But I can’t promise that I won’t micro-dose them with the Blue-White Kool-Aid along the way.  That’s just part of who WE ARE.