I love Bachelor Parties.

Maybe it’s the temporary freedom from responsibility and opportunity to act like children with my childhood friends that now happen to have children.

Or it could be the feeling of having laughter set as my default emotion for 48+ hours.

Perhaps it’s the extra gear that everyone seems shift into when the music, competition, and vibe cranks to the next level.

It could be due to the unsung heroes, MVPs, and the random strangers that make each new day the best day of the trip.

And overall, there’s something special about the unique context of a particular group coming together in a particular location creating particular memories that can never be replicated.

They’re great.

But as I rise from the ashes of Justin’s legendary Dewey Beach Bachelor Bash, I know that I only have one or two of these weekends left in me.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m ok with that. In fact, my body and mind are grateful for it.

But I’m also hoping to capture what brings me so much joy on those legendary weekends, so I can bring those lessons with me into a healthier and more mature future. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. Dedicate time to get away with friends.

It’s a critical outlet I need to be a happier person, a better family man, and a more responsible adult. Whether it’s a Saturday jam session at Bottle & Cork or something far more relaxing, I’m going to prioritize this time. I’m grateful to have a wife that fully embraces this important outlet as well.

2. Make wherever you are more enjoyable

Whether it’s brunch at Starboard, golf at The Rookery, or a routine Wednesday in my personal or professional life, this is my intention. Sometimes it’s easy like when I’m belting out Mr. Brightside or back bending to “Levitating,” but sometimes I lose sight of it as I get distracted, overwhelmed, or complacent in the day-to-day. But I’ll strive to make wherever I am more enjoyable, just like I tried to do each day in Dewey.

3. Go all in on important occasions

These moments are in limited supply. We can go through the motions or we can go all in on the celebration. I’m glad that we went all in for our buddy “Ort” this past weekend. I intend to do the same for future occasions too.

So Ort- I hope you had a great time.

To everyone that was in Dewey last weekend- I hope you’re all feeling back to normal.

To everyone that loves Bachelor(ette) Parties or just getting away for a weekend with friends- I hope we can bring that same joy into everything we do.

When’s the next one?

I wouldn’t typically recommend taking a vacation with 35 family members.

Especially if you’re all planning to stay in the same house for a week.

This could potentially be a recipe for disaster.

But with this particular group spanning across 7 different states and ranging in age from 1 to 77 …

And on this particular week in July 2022, a few years since Jordan’s extended family has been able to fully get together on Christmas…

And in this particular beachfront house called “Seas the Day” in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina that could comfortably fit and effectively entertain everyone…

It wasn’t a recipe for disaster.

It was a memory that I’ll never forget.

On our family vacation to the Outer Banks:

We learned family history and heard legendary stories from our Aunts and Uncles as we simultaneously created new legendary stories that the kiddos will tell their own nieces and nephews one day.

We laughed hysterically and stayed up too late with older cousins that we look up to and younger cousins that look up to us. I got to witness Charlie and Jack do the same with their own cousins.

It didn’t matter whether it was Shuffleboard, Cornhole, Floatie Pong, Pass the Pigs, Billiards, Rollet, Beach Volleyball at Tortugas, Keep it Up in the Air, or the Reindeer Ring Toss, the competition was top notch all week. Yet, I don’t remember the wins and losses nearly as much as I remember the banter and shenanigans in between each point.

We escaped a scorching heat wave by floating in the pool, jumping in the waves, watching the surfers at sunrise, and getting Ice Cream at sunset. Jack is still begging “Pool!” on his way to school every day since we’ve come home.

We played a round at Nags Head Golf Club where the priorities varied from golfer to golfer. Some focused on the next shot from the fairway. Some focused on capturing a shot of the beautiful views along the Roanoke Sound. Of course, some were most focused on taking that next shot from the cooler in the back of the cart.

We took turns exchanging culinary haymakers on our assigned dinner nights. Bryan and team may have prevailed when they made 40 personal brick oven pizzas- bringing a new definition to “Family Pizza night.”

We brought all of our Holiday traditions to the summer vacation at our Christmas in July party. We hung lights from a surfboard and inflated Christmas themed pool floats. Barefoot Santa even dropped by from the North Pole to drop some rhymes and spread some cheer.

We reminisced every morning as we cooked eggs, poured Jack more Cheerios, and wiped down Bradley’s height chair covered in yogurt. Then we went out in the summer sun to start a new day. And somehow each new day managed to become our favorite day of the vacation as the week kept getting better and better.

And whether it was during a lull after dinner, a lightning delay by the pool, or at the conclusion of the White Elephant gift exchange, we found a way to break into impromptu dance parties of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” in which family of all ages hugged and sang at the top of their lungs.

But more than any particular event, activity, or moment from the trip, it was the abundance of love, joy, and cheesiness throughout the week that sticks with me. Through this experience, I was reminded of the following lessons:

Be grateful for those in your circle whom consistently possess the enthusiasm to rally the troops and make these moments happen (Thanks, Pop).

Be grateful for those who have the skill and initiative to organize the logistics and help these events go fairly and smoothly (Thanks, Britt & Gretchen).

Be grateful for those who you always find wiping countertops, unloading dishwashers, and stocking fridges and doing the extra things to clean up after these “memories.” (Thanks, Aunt Joanne & Peg).

Be grateful when you can go into any room in the house and find someone that you enjoy spending time with (Thanks, everyone).

Most of all, I was reminded to say yes when an opportunity like this comes along and to embrace the love and the joy of every moment. In other words, “Seas the Day!” And while I’m at it, I’ll “Seas the cheese” too.

While it’s unlikely that we will pull off something quite like this again in the foreseeable future- the feelings, memories, and lessons that we’ve gained from this experience will stay with all of us for a long, long time. I anticipate that the love, joy, and cheese from this trip will carry over into everything else we do as well.

And who knows, fam, perhaps this wasn’t a one and done. After all, there “Ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you.”

So until next time, thanks for the memories,

Kevin (#35)

Casey & Mikey,

It was one of those weeks that almost doesn’t seem real.

The Malibu sunsets looked like paintings.

Your day after party was a scene straight from a movie.

And the joy I experienced at your wedding felt like a dream.

But as I put this together, I recall how real it all was.

The pride I felt officiating your wedding was real.

The love from friends and family that filled that pool and packed that dance floor was all real.

The promise you made to each other and the adventure you are about to take together are so very real.

It’s hard to put the week into words, so I’ll share this segment from your ceremony, which gives us a sense for how real your love story is:

From the Ceremony: As Casey & Mikey stand here at the altar, it’s clear that they were meant to be together…but the odds weren’t always great.

Long before this joyous occasion, our bride and groom first knew each other at Penn State… by their Instagram handles.

@MikeySebastian was certainly attracted to a cute sorority girl named @Casejan, but he wasn’t interested in a serious college relationship.

And @Casejan would occasionally pause as she scrolled past pics of the charming soccer player, but his whole wannabe Cristiano Ronaldo vibe wasn’t really her type. 

They “Liked” and made flirty comments on each other’s posts, and a few times even felt a little spark when they ran into each other at a bar.

But they were from opposite coasts envisioning different lives on separate paths. A future together was too unrealistic.

However one night, with all the odds stacked against him, @MikeySebastian felt compelled to send the following Instagram direct message:

“Hey @Casejan, One day we’re going to tell our kids that we met on Instagram.”

Who knows why he sent it? Maybe the guy just loves taking on near-impossible challenges, or he was an overconfident college kid sending a Hail Mary pick up line.

But when Casey actually responded to Mikey’s message, maybe they both knew:

The reasons their relationship didn’t make sense–would be the same reasons they’d become the power couple they are today.

Because long distance, unfortunate timing, and distinct differences didn’t hold them back. If anything, the challenges helped them grow.

Casey & Mikey- The distance that initially separated you actually brought you closer together.  You had to put in the extra effort to trust, communicate, and really get to know each other.  And when you were able to spend time together, you made the most of every precious minute. 

The timing in which you met- while pursuing different careers paths and grieving a loss- didn’t compromise the pursuit of your connection. Instead, it accelerated and solidified your commitment. I’ve admired the way you two lean on each other whether you’re on the dance floor, spotting a workout, or navigating life’s most challenging moments.

And your differences don’t make you incompatible. Your differences are what make you so special. In some ways you chose your opposite, but in doing so, you chose the person who brings out the best & happiest version of you.

Between Casey’s thoughtful perspective and Mikey’s “Refuse to lose mentality,” you have proven you can handle anything that comes your way.

You’ve turned the question “Can we make this work?” to a promise, “Nothing could ever stop us!”

Your love…makes all this happen.

The love that fuels each of you to work harder and live healthier. The love that seems to light up any room that you two walk in together. The love that makes your dates more romantic, your trips more adventurous, your time with friends and family more memorable, and your Tuesday afternoons during a Pandemic lockdown more enjoyable. The love you two have for each other is what makes me so confident in the promise that you’re making today. And the love in your marriage will be the greatest gift you can give your future children.

So Mikey… I still think it’s a ridiculous Instagram message. But I’m glad you sent it. And Case- I’m just happy you didn’t block him for sending it!

Because now everyone here today can say with resounding confidence- as you did all those years ago:

“One Day you’ll tell your kids that you met on Instagram.” 

…Mikey, you’ve told me how difficult it is to replicate the feeling of scoring a game winning goal. That moment of exhilaration that you felt as you saw the ball hit the back of the net against Akron.

But in a moment, when you kiss your bride, it’s going to feel so much better. And the life that you create and the memories you make together- will be more meaningful than any goal, any game, any championship.

As Casey said in her vows, when you’re on that rocking chair in your 80s, surrounded by kids and grandkids, you two will look back on your life and know that your marriage went undefeated!

So with that, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!  Mikey, you may kiss your bride. 

This month, I wanted to write something fun and light. 

I drafted up a few paragraphs about Jordan’s Kentucky Derby themed birthday party.

I thought through a few ideas from our family beach trip with the Fuentes.

But on Wednesday morning, as I returned to my car in the daycare parking lot, I was overcome by a nauseating rush of emotions. And if the whole point of this blog is to capture moments and reflect on meaningful experiences from a specific point in my life – I couldn’t ignore this moment.

For the most part, it was an ordinary drop off at school. Jack waddled joyfully into his class high fiving his teachers and shouting cheerful commands for a “Snack!” Charlie insisted on giving me another tour of her classroom to show me the picture she painted, the flower she planted, and the ladybug she made. After saying Goodbye to the kids with a hug and a kiss, I waved to some of the familiar parents and hustled back to my car to head to work. I changed my CarPlay from the Moana soundtrack to a new podcast episode and was ready to shift the car into gear when it all hit me.

Here’s what ran through my head:

I don’t know how we keep letting horrific events like Uvalde happen.

I don’t know why we refuse to show some common sense and do something about it.   

I can’t imagine what these parents would give for one more day with their child.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring for any of us.

I don’t know how to process these feelings.

But here’s what I do know.

I know I love my kids more than anything.

I know that we need to do something.

And I know for each new day that I get with Charlie and Jack:

I’ll hug them tighter.

Laugh with them louder.

Play with them longer.

Be more patient and present.

And give them everything I’ve got for as long as I’ve got.

After taking a deep breath, I put the car in drive, wiped my tears, and went about my day.

When I picked the kids up 8 hours later, Jack came running out with dried snot around his nose, blueberry stains on his shirt, and a big smile on his face yelling “Dada!” Charlie came skipping out of the building to show me the medal she received from Soccer Shots. On the way home, Jack mumbled a bunch of gibberish and Charlie rambled on about her friends and all the fun things they did at school.

But I tragically recognize that some parents weren’t blessed with this opportunity last week.

Wednesday I felt sad. Thursday I felt angry. Friday I felt lucky. Right now, I feel motivated to contribute to a solution. But today and every day forward, I’m hugging my kids a little tighter.

I leaned over to Jordan in the Cescaphe Ballroom and admitted, “I only know a few people here. But I kinda feel compelled to make sure everyone has fun tonight.”

She rolled her eyes at what sounded like a vain thought that was unfiltered by an extended cocktail hour.

The truth was that the bride and groom, Courtney and Taylor, didn’t need me on that dance floor.  They are an amazing couple with fun friends and an incredible band.  Their dance floor was absolutely bumpin’ whether I was on it or not. 

But that compelling sense of purpose to earn my spot on the guest list and enhance the overall wedding experience was very real. 

So when Jordan chuckled and gave me a “You need serious help” look , I figured I should probably think about what inspired this sentiment.  Because it wasn’t the first time that I felt this way. In fact, it’s been a common feeling that I’ve experienced whenever I’m in certain environments interacting with certain people. 

I was determined to bring joy to Mikey’s Scottsdale Bachelor Party the previous weekend. 

I felt inspired to bring value when we went out in West Chester after Casey’s bridal shower. 

I feel compelled to maximize the experience when I meet with clients, officiate a wedding, or just entertain Jordan, Charlie, and Jack at breakfast. And for the past 80+ blog posts, I feel it every time I click, “Publish.”   

The big question is: What’s driving it?

When people give me an opportunity, an open mind, a moment of their engagement, or (I’ll admit it) a little attention, the intention tends to perpetuate.  I began to notice a clear cycle- or as they say in the business books- a “Personal flywheel.”  Here’s what I’ve come up with:

I strive to bring consistent value and joy to family, friends, and clients.

Which helps me

Cultivate engaging and fulfilling relationships and experiences.

Which inspire me to

Become a better family man, friend, and advisor.

Which will enable me to

Bring more consistent value and joy to family, friends, and clients.

So when there’s a couple like Courtney and Taylor getting married, and I’m invited to celebrate with them on the biggest night of their lives, I’m compelled to burn holes in the soles of my dancing shoes.

And when 20 guys get together at a giant Air BnB in Scottsdale to give Mikey a weekend he’ll never forget, count on me being fully locked in.

When I hear the “Dada” chirping from the crib upstairs at 6:30 am every morning, I’m ready to seize the day.

When friends or family come over for Holidays, gather around the fire pit, or run around our backyard, it’s our intention to make our guests want to come back again.

And when a client asks for quality financial advice, I’m determined to make it well worth their time, money, and trust.

The joy and value that I get from these relationships and experiences with my family, friends, and clients, fuels me to focus even more on how I can generate more value and joy for them. And as long as my health, wealth, and clarity stay in tact, nothing can really stop the momentum of the wheel once it starts going.

My flywheel was really spinning throughout April 2022. Some of it was powered by people I just met. Some of it was accelerated by old friends that I haven’t seen in a while. Some of it was charged by the family and friends closest to me. But thanks to whatever and whomever was powering it, I found myself laughing harder, thinking deeper, smiling bigger, caring more, and getting lower on the dance floor.

For those people and events that helped power this wheel, I’m grateful for them. And for those of you that are wondering about your own personal flywheel:

What spins yours?

My father-in-law, “Pop,” is fantastic with kids, and approaches each day with boundless energy and a proud set of values. To get a sense of who Pop is, just picture a Disney Channel football coach or Robin William’s characters from Dead Poet’s Society and Patch Adams. But when Pop told us he was going to make his debut as a substitute teacher to keep himself busy and make a little side income, I’ll admit I was a bit nervous.

Teachers are facing significant challenges these days. Young students have been through a lot, and many are struggling to maintain focus and engagement in the classroom. Schools are facing adversity under difficult circumstances and staffing issues. And the subs? Let’s just say, I recall the unfortunate way that my class (including me) would treat our substitute teachers- I apologize to all of my Subs by the way.

To protect Pop’s unbridled optimism from facing inevitable disappointment, our family attempted to set expectations and prepare him for the realities of the battle zone that he was about to enter.

“Are you sure this is how you want to spend your time and energy, Pop?”

“Stick to the curriculum and lesson plan.  Don’t count on changing a student’s life in one day.”  

“Don’t expect these kids to vibe on your halftime speeches and cheesy stories.”

“School policies have changed since you were a student.  Don’t get yourself fired or cancelled.”  

“Whatever you do, Stay away from Middle School.”

In hindsight, it’s looking like our guidance was dead wrong. Good thing he didn’t listen to us.

Pop dove headfirst into the opportunity with passion, creativity, and stubborn positivity. He took liberties with lesson plans, leaned into his halftime speeches, shared life lessons, and told cheesy stories.

At least once a week, our family gets long emoji-loaded text messages about how amazing his day was. He goes on and on about his 2nd grade music class or the activities he led in 5th grade Spanish. He has made new little friends and special memories. And in a very challenging time for anyone in a classroom, this sub and his students are having the times of their lives.

After a few weeks of building confidence with an adorable audience of elementary students, he signed up for a day of 7th grade Math. We thought he this might have been the moment in which he bit off a little more than he could chew.

Pop is the first to admit he knows the x’s and o’s in a football playbook way better than in an algebra textbook. He likely would’ve guessed a “quadrilateral” is an exercise machine at the gym. He’s also been warned that his material typically resonates better with second graders than it does with pre-teens. But he wasn’t concerned.

Pop brought energy to that 7th grade Math class that day the only way he knows how. He applied the lessons to stories and examples from growing up. He asked questions, played games, and encouraged teamwork. He got everyone involved and provided a different spark than what they were used to. To his surprise at the end of the day, the students gathered around his desk and presented him with this signed handwritten note:

We gave Pop some terrible advice (above), and I’m using this forum to modify my initial recommendations. My updated suggestion comes from an Abe Lincoln quote that hung on the wall in my brother/sister-in-law’s kitchen for years: “Whatever you are- be a good one.”

Pop is not a perfect substitute teacher, but he’s committed to delivering a valuable and meaningful experience forwhatever class he gets assigned. Subbing may be a hobby or a side job to him, but in those moments when he’s writing “Mr. B” on the chalkboard, he’s accountable to making an impactful memory for his students. Pop didn’t always dream of being a sub, but since he became one- he’s been damn good.

Kudos to you, Pop. And I hope as we read this story and go back to whatever we are and whoever we want to be- we can be a good one too.

I looked out at the frozen pond and tried to muster a deep breath.  Jordan and I had just received notice that Jack’s class would be closed for another week due to COVID protocols.  The update was one of many disruptions in a winter which has been filled with childcare issues, quarantines, and sick days.  The daycare email left us frustrated and ready to get the hell out of the house.  It was also looking like these frequent work disruptions would require us to skip our trip to Florida to visit my parents in March.   I was becoming tired of reacting to these inconveniences, so I chose to take some action.

I sat back down at my computer and checked my work calendar.  I took out my phone and peeked at the weather app.  Then, I looked over to Jordo and said, “Screw it.  Let’s go to Naples…like tomorrow.”

I consider myself a fairly rational person.  But as we frantically searched flight options less than 24 hours away while containing Jack and juggling scheduled meetings, Jordan and I were fully operating on emotion and desperation.  And in our rush to book flights, organize logistics with my parents, arrange cat coverage, pack our bags, and get clearance from our colleagues, we only had time to think of the “Pros” side of our Pros/Cons list. 

Pros list

1. Get down to my parents’ house in Florida for the first time since Charlie was a newborn.

2. Practice flying with toddlers before our trip to California for Casey & Mikey’s wedding in June. 

3. Turn another disruptive daycare quarantine into a positive.

4. Leave the snow on the ground for 82 and sunny.

5. Capture a few extra days of sunshine over Presidents Day Weekend.

That was good enough for us.  With availability winding down for the last minute flights, we haphazardly clicked “Book your trip.”

But immediately after receiving our confirmation numbers, the “Cons” side of the list crept into my conscience. 

Cons list

1. The expensive last-minute Holiday weekend flights
2. Lack of preparation
3. Unnecessary stress of all the rushed arrangements

If I went back a few hours and had a little more time, a busier day, a little less emotional fuel, or a bit of resistance from Jordan or my parents, I would’ve easily passed on the spontaneous idea.  But now that the sunshine has come and gone, I’m glad that I wasn’t acting 100% rationally when we booked the flights. 

Because I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to hear Jack cheer “Yippeeee” when Pop-Pop plays with him in the pool. I couldn’t miss Charlie’s giggles on the beach or dance moves with her Mimi. I got to break up a dreary winter with 9 holes at sunset with my dad. Jordan and I enjoyed the quality time with my parents. And we got a glimpse of a world in which the biggest worries seem to be whether the community will build pickleball on one the tennis courts. So despite having to wrestle a 27-pound bear for a few days on planes and in a non-child proofed condo, our trip provided the rejuvenation that we needed.

I don’t anticipate approaching all future family travel as spontaneous as we did for this trip, but we’ll cherish this one for a long time. It felt good to turn a “why” into a “why not?!”  And thanks to our colleagues’ flexibility, my parents’ hospitality, and South Florida’s serenity, when life threw Jordan and I a few lemons, we were able to shake ‘em up to make fresh, poolside, spiked lemonade.  And sometimes it tastes extra special that way.

Mr. and Mrs. Van Osten,

It was an honor to officiate your wedding. Thank you for trusting me to be part of your special day. I’m grateful for my inside look at your beautiful relationship the past few months and for the opportunity to share your story with your closest friends and family. I’ll cherish this memory for a long time.

Preparing your ceremony was also a valuable exercise for my own marriage. Jordan knew how excited I was for the opportunity, and she fully embraced her role as my Chief Editor and Speech Coach. Even more important than the specific adjustments that Jordan made to the script and my delivery, she was there to challenge and encourage me to every step of the way. She bound the final draft and made sure I had everything packed for the wedding, so I was as prepared and presentable as possible. She was also right there to greet me with a kiss and a drink at cocktail hour when the ceremony was over.

The qualities of a successful marriage that I spoke about the other night were the same actions that Jordan demonstrated through this entire process.

Dave and Chels- I can’t wait to see what life brings you. You clearly bring out the best in each other and have an exciting shared vision for your future. Getting married to the love of my life and my partner in crime was the best choice I ever made. If your marriage is anything like your first night together as Van Ostens, it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

Love,

Rev Kev

---

To anyone reading this that might have missed the ceremony (or would like to hear it again), here’s a snippet of the Van Osten love story:

I remember the day that Dave and Chelsea met.

Dave and I were on the beach in Sea Isle on 4th of July weekend, 2017. We were having a beer and a pretty serious conversation.

Dave felt like there was something missing in his life. 

He wasn’t sure if he needed a career change or to move out of the Philly area, or what. He just knew he needed a spark or a new opportunity to shake things up.  I offered to connect him with my buddy in New York, and he seemed on board with the offer.

That night we went our separate ways. I went to the OD with my wife’s friends, and Dave went to Shenanigans with JA, Kyle, Tony, and a few other guys.

Now, who here has ever been to Shenanigans? If you haven’t, let’s just say it is not a place that many find the “love of their life.”

But the next day, when I texted Dave, “How was your night, man?” He immediately responded “Bro…I met the one!”

I laughed and shrugged it off assuming he was just being goofy Dave, and probably still had the drinks from the night before clouding his judgment.

Seriously though, what are the chances that you find “the one” on a night that you can barely find the Jitney? 

Making this even more challenging, this future wife of his had just told Diana and Lindsay on their girls’ night that she was officially, “Done with Boys,” and she had no intentions of meeting a guy that would change her mind down the shore.

But I guess Chelsea made her “Done with boys” declaration before she met the man that would make her laugh harder, and feel more loved, and be more joyful than she ever thought was possible. 

And when Dave walked to Shenanigans from No Shower Happy Hour, he certainly didn’t anticipate meeting the woman that would bring him the type of spark, the depth of connection, and the sense of fulfillment that Chelsea brought him from Day 1.

So against all odds, their “shenanigans” that night bring us all here today.

But even as Dave and Chels spent the rest of the weekend seeing and feeling fireworks, they weren’t really sure whether their love story would continue beyond a 4^th of July fling.

Until a week after they returned to their normal lives in Philly and Conshy, when Dave and Chelsea spent the entire day at Spruce Street Harbor in Philadelphia. Their magical day led to a 4 hour brunch the next morning at the London Grill. That marathon brunch led into a Game of Thrones episode which faded into a movie night which then spilled into the work week.

Chelsea couldn’t get rid of this love-struck guy even if she wanted to. But the thing was, she didn’t want to!

Their connection was so unique. They had the electricity of falling in love, but the chemistry of lifelong best friends.

Their connection restored Chelsea’s hope for relationships when she realized this is exactly what love is supposed to feel like.  

Their connection removed any desire of Dave’s to shake things up in a new city.  When I asked him what about New York, he said, “I’m gonna stick around for a while.”  

So they stuck around, and found the missing piece they were both looking for. And that piece would be the only thing that they would ever need again.

Check out Dave and Chelsea’s wedding video here:

https://vimeo.com/672990505

My voice is hoarse.  My cheekbones ache.  My heart is full.  No, these aren’t symptoms of Omicron.  They are just the side-effects of a magical Singalong Season. 

This December was special for Jordan and I in so many ways. We made new Holiday memories with the people we love, hosted both of our families on the 25th, and enjoyed the daily entertainment and wonder of Charlie and Jack’s pure Christmas spirit. As I looked through pictures and reflected on unique and singular themes that captured the essence of this Holiday season, one thing became clear: We seemed to be singing the entire time.

The singing began in early December at the New York Athletic Club (NYAC) Holiday Party when my buddy Jim and I visited our friend, Chris, in NYC. A cover band from our Penn State days, Country Club Drive, had reunited one last time to rock out to a setlist that included “American Girl,” “Semi Charmed Life,” and “All the Small Things.” Although Jim and I were a couple of washed-up suburban Dads at Chris’ classy Mid-town Manhattan networking event, it didn’t take long for our vocal cords to return to a “Piketoberfest-like” performance from a decade earlier.

A week later, once our kids were nestled all snug in their beds under the careful watch of their Pop, Jordan and I made our way to the Spinelli Christmas Party on the other side of Haddonfield, NJ. After we came away from the White Elephant gift exchange with a highly coveted portable karaoke microphone, another late night of sing-alongs ensued.

I don’t know if it was the veins popping out of my neck and my breathless effort as Spins and I tried to rip the second verse of “Lose Yourself,” or the house-shaking chorus of “Shallow,” or Dani and Jordo’s 10-minute passionate rendition of “All too well (Taylor’s Version),” but I woke up the next morning with a raspy whisper.

A week later, our Cruse Christmas with Aunt Nona and our cousins, Kyle and Carter, brought on another karaoke event. My dreadful performance of “Mr. Brightside” was saved by my “Better Together (Luke Combs)” duet with Charlie. Per usual, Kyle’s Elvis impersonation, the girls’ honkytonk jams, and Carter’s impeccable choreography stole the show.

And a week later, the big event came on Christmas Day when Uncle Joe dusted off the keyboard for a number of off-tune, out of rhythm, and unnecessarily loud Christmas carols. The kids sang “Jingle Bell Rock,” a few of us stumbled through “Walking in a Winter Wonderland,” the Bonders belted out “The Christmas Song,” the Janiecs struck back with “Have yourself a Merry little Christmas,” the boys brought the house down with an a capella version of “The Grinch,” and Steve Janiec and Jim Bonder closed us out honoring the always emotional Pop-Pop tradition of “I’ll be home for Christmas.”

These Uncle Joe led Christmas carols have been a big part of Christmas as long as I’ve been alive, and their return was especially cherished after the hiatus in 2020. But once Uncle Joe’s keyboard was packed up and loaded in his truck, none of us ever expected the surprise grand finale of the season- and perhaps our newest Christmas tradition. Jordan rallied her sisters with a Fireball shot, and proceeded to hop on the keys of our baby grand to lead the girls in back-to-back Adele power ballads. It left us all proud, amazed, and confused. Where was this exceptional talent during the other ear-piercing carols? The moment also sparked a family debate- did the passionate performance bring a tear to my Dad’s eye?

Our entire Holiday season was best captured by Buddy the Elf’s famous declaration. “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” So our family sang before school, on the way to school, and after school all month long. We sang loud, we sang proud, and we certainly felt the cheer spread every time we did. The mic will be open in 2022. What will your go-to song be?

I sat down for Thanksgiving Dinner this year happy, healthy, and blessed.  Thanks to great people, supportive systems, groundbreaking innovations, and a whole lot of luck, I’m fulfilled and comfortable.  I’m so grateful for the joy and meaning that my family, my friends, my home, and my job bring me every day.  These are the most important things in my life, and I hit the jackpot with all of them.    

Nevertheless, since I’ve already written nearly 80 reflections about these “most important things,” I’m choosing to recognize a few of the much appreciated unsung heroes in my life instead. The unsung heroes in my life are those random things that either make my days easier or the special moments even better. These things didn’t get sufficiently recognized the other night at the Thanksgiving table amidst the turkey and mashed potatoes, so I felt compelled to pay these 10 things the respect they deserve. Would any of these make your list?

1. One more wedding season: With another great wedding season and a legendary Vegas Bachelor party in my rearview, I look ahead at all the 2022 Save the Dates on our fridge and think, “I’ve got one more wedding season in me.” This Grand Finale wedding season will be extra special with the opportunity to officiate the weddings of Casey & Mikey and Chelsea & Dave and to be best man for Justin. I promise to express my gratitude on the dance floor.

2. Podcasts and Audiobooks- With the Podcast and Audible apps reliably delivering a treasure trove of on-demand content directly through my Airpods, I no longer mind running at 6 am, doing yardwork on cold days, or taking long flights. A special shout goes to the autobiographies from Will Smith, Matthew McConaughey, and the Obamas which all kept me company in the frigid temperatures as I raked leaves and hung Christmas lights the past four years. ‘Tis the season for a good podcast and autobiography, I guess!

3. Wine after night-night- When Jordan and I survive the chaos of dinner and “night-night” with the kids, and subsequently clean the storm surge’s scattered toys, overflowing laundry, and pile of dirty dishes, there is a remedy that we often count on to bring a relaxing close to a busy day: a show, a snack, and a glass of wine. The quiet time magically transforms my co-parent and roommate into my wife and best friend as we share about our days, plan for our tomorrow, or just zone out to something mindless. As much as I love Thanksgiving dinner, nothing tastes quite as refreshing as that glass of wine after night-night.

4. The home supply chain- I don’t know when Jordan does it, when she thinks about it, or how she stays on top of it, but there’s rarely a “shortage” in our home supply chain. Whether it’s stuff for the kids, Christmas gifts, or household items that I would never think of, the supplies seem to magically appear in an organized manner whenever I need them. Before the government taps Jordan to solve the worldwide bottlenecks, I need to thank her for the wizardry she has pulled at home for the three stooges.

5. Sticker charts and Baby Gates- Strategically placed baby gates and a sticker chart have saved our family’s physical and mental health as we raise a whacko Jacko and a strong-minded 3-nager. It’s the little things in life that make all the difference.

6. Our Architect- For Christmas last year, Jordan and I asked my Dad to help design a future home renovation for us. He dusted off his trusty drafting board and architectural skills and brought our vision to the blueprint. More than anything, I’m thankful for your patient collaboration with the “Pinterest Princess” as you two worked through the grand plan.

7. Chesterbrook Academy- In an unprecedented year for childcare, we’ve had a fantastic experience at Chesterbrook. The kids always have beaming smiles at drop off and pick up, and they come home with new words, songs, and stories every day. They love their friends and their teachers, and Jordan and I love how reliable the school has been.

8. The Firepit (and Firecorn)- In celebration of our Firepit turning one year old, it has become one of our favorite places in the world.  Once the kids go down on a Friday or Saturday night, the monitor signal conveniently reaches our Adirondack chairs, and all the worries in the world slip away….except when I can’t get the fire roaring…and there’s Firecorn for that.  

9. Storyworth- For Christmas last year, I gifted Storyworth to both my Mom and Jordan’s Dad. Storyworth is a service that emails both of them a weekly writing prompt personally selected by me and my siblings. The writing prompts include stories of their childhood, family traditions, views of the world, wild stories with their friends, and achievements and failures throughout their lives. Their responses to the prompt are emailed out to our family. At the end of this year, their responses will be published in a book. This gift taught me so much about how they each grew up and how they see the world and memorialized some of their best stories for years to come. I recommend getting Storyworth for a family member that you want to learn more about.

10. Financial Advice- How could I not be thankful for a firm that gave me the greenlight to do what I love, and for a team that has been so enjoyable to work with every day?  I’m thankful for the opportunity to help young families and retirees navigate big financial decisions and conflicting priorities with clarity and confidence.  The craft has also been so valuable for Jordan and I as we plan our own future.   

As I sit down for turkey and stuffing again next year, I hope to be as thankful as I was this year.  Many of these unsung heroes will likely change, but for 2021, they made the days easier, the moments better, and the future brighter.  I’ll be forever grateful for that.