Noon game. Penn State came out flat. 3 interceptions. Questionable play calling. Dropped balls. Blown coverage. Missed tackles. Dumb penalties. Devastating loss. And to top it all off, a sick Charlotte.

It sounds bad. But believe it or not, it was a good birthday. In fact, my day felt more like this…

Noon game. Our school. Cold Beers. Chicken Parm. Best friends. Great family. Fun times. And to top it all off, the sweetest little Lion.

I would’ve preferred to beat a team called “The Gophers,” but I wouldn’t trade it for a Saturday afternoon with my people. Let’s just hope we don’t have to make that trade the rest of the season.

In a world filled with negativity, I enjoy keeping my pint glass half full. Cheers!

My hair has never been more gray.

My jokes have never been more corny.

My heart has never been more full.

Dear Charlie-

Getting to be your dad this year has been the greatest privilege of my life. Your birthday party made me think back to a year ago when I didn’t know a love like this could really exist. The truth is, before you were born I struggled to imagine what life would be like with you. Today, I can’t imagine life without you.

Let me paint the scene on November 3rd, 2018. As I nervously paced the delivery room sweating like Shaq on the foul line and chugging my third Ginger Ale to settle the swarm of lantern flies in my stomach, there were still so many unknowns. Would the baby be healthy? What would he or she be like? How do I hold one of these things? What’s the protocol for feeding or diapering or sleeping or keeping them alive and well? How will my life change? Will I be ready? I paused and thought to myself in between Canada Dry sips, Jordan is a champ right now, at least she seems like she know what do do. Wait, does Jordan know what she’s doing? Please Lord, let Jordan know what she’s doing! Then the doctor said, “It’s time to have this baby!” Uh oh. This is real. More sweat. More Ginger Ale. “Kevin, put down the damn soda and squeeze my hand!!!” Oh God. Gulp. Here we go. What is that?! Wait, is that?! It’s a girl! I’m a Dad. She’s beautiful! This is amazing. Let’s call her Charlotte James Janiec. Little Charlie bear. Deep breath. Ummm, Now can someone please tell me what I’m supposed to do?!

While that’s an abbreviated version from my eyes of the moments you entered this world, I just remember that I had no clue what to do or expect. I remember how nervous I was to hold you for the first time. Fast forward to today, when we were wrestling, playing, and stumbling all over your room. And I remember those first few nights when I didn’t know if we’d ever reach the morning with this nocturnal baby. Today, I couldn’t wait until morning, so we could hang out again. I remember a year ago, when you were wrapped in a swaddle and a little pink hat. Today, you were a big girl dressed up as an Eagles cheerleader to root for your team. And I remember in the NICU when you were briefly covered in tubes and wires. Today, you were covered in smash cake. A year ago you had 30 people eager to meet you at the Hospital. Today, you had 30 people who love you and were eager to celebrate you at our house. A year ago, you had the best mom in the world. Today, you still have the best mom in the world!

It’s crazy how fast it’s gone by. I look back at the pictures and am amazed by how much you’ve grown and changed over the last year. But maybe what I notice more, is how much you’ve changed me.

Every day with you fills me up with more joy and meaning than anything else in the world. Your morning greetings when Mom and I come upstairs to get you ready for school gets me excited to take on every day. When we play with your toys or you make your classic facial expressions at breakfast, you bring out a laugh that I didn’t know I had in me. When I drop you off at Daycare and realize “Char-Char” is a Chesterbrook Academy celebrity, you bring me a sense of pride that I’ve never felt before. When I walk into the house after a long day at work, and you squeak and squeal and waddle over to me to give me a big hug, you make home feel like the best place on earth. When you throw your food on the floor at dinner, you make me look like a less sloppy eater. When you make bath time seem like the best form of entertainment, you make me appreciate the little things in life. When we snuggle with your bottle and put you to bed and you rub your eyes on my lap and twirl your hair, you bring me a sense of peace and for that moment make everything feel alright in the world.

You’re a special little girl, you’ve grown up fast, and some would even say you got SOOOO BIGGGG this year. You have new teeth and longer hair. You learned how to walk and you show more of your personality every day! But I’ll argue that because of you and your mom, I’ve grown more. In fact, I may even have to call a Cardiologist because my heart has grown 10 sizes this year.

You have changed my life, helped make me who I am, and you are the thing I most look forward to. You have special friends and family that will always be here for you, even if you napped during half of your birthday party. For everything you’ve meant to us this year, I guess a little cake and an Eagles party was the least we could do to say Happy Birthday!

I love you little Bear. Your mom and I are so proud of you!

Love,

Dad

This past weekend, Jordan and I saw something rare and beautiful. Something we haven’t seen for a long time. We saw a blank space on our calendar.

Amidst all of the weddings, sales conferences, and every event in between, we needed to hit the reset button. We needed a boring day where lightbulbs were replaced, carpets were vacuumed, leaves were raked, and closets were reorganized. We needed a day that allowed for the extra long walk through the neighborhood across the street. More than anything, we needed a day not entertained by a DJ and an open bar, but by Charlie stumbling around the park and giggling on the swings.

I typically don’t do boring well. I prefer the open bar. But this free space was needed. And I quickly realized, racing the little bear on my hands and knees to get the closest toy brought a similar sense of joy and exhilaration that I felt all summer and fall on the wedding dance floor.

This week, we resume our busy lives and I’m at another fun and jam packed conference with my team. But I’ll do my best to remember some of the best days are the boring ones. I look forward to that next free space on the calendar.

My friends and family are the type of people that are worth bending over backwards for.

No, but literally…I actually bend over backwards for these people.

As the Severs absolutely rocked the grand finale of the 2019 wedding season, I reflect back on all of the memories. I think about all of the beautiful venues from Stone Harbor Yaacht Club to Bonnet Island Estate. I remember all of the delicious food from the shrimp cocktail to the filets. I revisit all of the powerful speeches that made us laugh and cry. I can still feel the electric moments on the dance floor from Uptown Funk to Mr. Brightside to Piano Man. I’ll never forget all of the special moments that I shared with some of the most special people in my life. Each wedding was different and unique in its own way. But as I reflect back, I realize that one common staple remained constant at each wedding…the “back bend.”

My go-to, limbo-like “back bend” dance move made an appearance at every wedding this season. I can only hope to keep the streak alive and nail it at Charlie’s wedding one day.

And let’s speak some truth. I don’t have a ton of versatility in my dancing repertoire. I don’t have much flexibility in my athleticism. I actually don’t know when I came up with the move or where I learned it or why I ever attempted it in the first place. I don’t know how my ACL hasn’t torn. I especially don’t know how the the Jos. A Bank and Indochino pants haven’t ripped yet. I don’t know the precise formula of Tangueray, champagne, and Miller Lite that inspire the tradition. I don’t know which song at each wedding will create the opportunity. But there’s always a moment or two at every wedding when I find myself inches off the floor, with my eyes on the ceiling, my ankles flexed sideways, my pant seams stretched, the cameras flashing, my friends laughing (with a few eye rolls), and me merely holding myself up with adrenaline.

Some of my friends argue that the move is overused. Mom may argue that it’s dangerous. Ada Pici’s break dancing cousin may argue that it’s an amateur move anyway. Brides and grooms may argue that it takes up too much space in the wedding album. But I argue that I just can’t help it. It’s the only way that I know how to express the overwhelming joy that these celebrations hold. It’s the way that I express my congratulations to the 7 amazing couples that got married this year. It’s the way that I say thank you to all of the special people that celebrated alongside of me.

Because after all, these people are worth bending over backwards for. And I intend to bring it back out again next year.

“It’s a bummer that it went by so fast, but I’m just so happy to see them so happy.”

With this line, Jordan perfectly summed up Casey and Mikey’s trip back to the East Coast.

Whenever my little sister and her boyfriend visit, there’s always extra pep in the Janiec family step. The competitions tend to get a little fiercer as Dad delivered Mikey the long anticipated but quickly humbling smackdown on the tennis court. The laughter gets a little louder as Casey always dishes that timely and witty comment that makes us fall out of our chairs. The drinks get a little stronger because how else do you celebrate this special occasion? The babies get a little cuter as Charlie and Leila have a blast walking and squawking around with their Aunt Kiki and “Uncle” Mikey. And I guess this time Mikey proved that the water gets a little warmer too as he decided to go for a Mid-October swim in the pond. The bottom line: it doesn’t get much better than when they visit.

However, before there was all this pep in the step, I’ll admit I was skeptical. I’ll admit that the wannabe-Cristiano Ronaldo Instagram account with more than 2000 followers that began to DM my little sister caused me to hesitate. And as they started dating, I’ll admit that their matching shoes and outfits made me pause. Finally, when they became serious, I’ll admit that part of me was a little worried with Casey moving out to Santa Monica.

But those doubts are long gone. Seeing them grow as a couple over the past few years, it’s hard not to admire their sense of adventure, their ability to bring out the best in each other, and their overall unity as a partnership.

I see the trips to Rainbow Mountain or Yosemite or Rocky Mountain National Park or their upcoming trip to Australia. I see the happy hours in Malibu, parties at Coachella, and the volleyball or Spikeball games by Venice Beach. I see them crushing the wedding scene across the country. I see them living their best life and seizing each day. I see them never sitting still or getting bored, but rather taking in and taking on the best parts of the world together.

I see them bring out the best in each other. I see them challenge each other to wake up at 4:30 am and work out. I see them continue to reach new levels of success in their jobs. I see them always finding ways to get healthier, work harder, think broader, and have more fun. I see them challenge each other to overcome their individual stubborn tendencies and make decisions that they would not often choose on their own.

Finally, I see their commitment to each other as a unit. I see the ridiculous matching outfits and their coordinated dances and their general attitude towards each other. I see them always put each other first no matter what.

So yes, Mikey’s Instagram account seemed questionable, but I now turn to them for social media advice. Their coordinated outfits were corny until my own wife made me wear matching Christmas jammies and 4th of July shirts. The California move seemed too far until Jordan and I realized we now have a great excuse to travel to a fun place.

Casey’s always been the voice of reason in the family, so we knew to trust her judgment all along. As Jordo said, although I miss them, it just makes me so happy seeing them so happy. Thanks for coming guys. I can’t wait until Christmas!

It was a different chapter of our lives about a decade ago. We were 19, maybe a little brash, definitely creative, and arguably as fresh as “new linen.” But if you were to pick three kids from East Goshen Elementary to create a rap ensemble that would eventually land on BroBible.com’s “Top 100 up and coming hip hop artists” (which is basically like winning a Grammy), many would not have guessed it’d be Tim, Neal, and I.

But Tim “Dr. Slim” Pici was spot on when he rapped, “So I’m sitting in the air and I’m thinking, yeah I said I’m dreaming, you better get used to the sound we use ‘cause we ain’t ever leaving. And it’s never been made a secret that we better than decent. Still can’t believe we got this far, it still won’t even sink in.”

The hip hop/boy band trio (later gone duo) went on to create music that sold about 100 albums (thanks to our haggling in the East high school cafeteria) and attracted thousands of views on YouTube (many of those views from me). The music spanned over a few continents (thanks to University of Delaware’s international soccer recruits) and across several university campuses (Mike Coyne still swears he heard us blasting at a JMU frat party).

I’ll admit that to this day I still listen to New Linen. I actually think the music is really good (including the songs before and after my controversial resignation). I truly believe that Neal was one of the greatest producers and Doc Slim was one of the greatest rappers of the mid 2000s. And besides Drake and a few others, I’ll argue that quality hip hop died when New Linen did.

With Doc Slim getting married yesterday to his beautiful bride, Ada (who is actually a real doctor), the trio of 2009’s most eligible bachelors are officially off the market. This means one thing: The “linen” is officially old.

Rather than rapping about picking up chicks, we now focus our attention on taking care of our wives. Rather than writing rhymes, we now write reflections and personalized wedding vows. Rather than meticulously working on our beats, we now reluctantly work on our homes. Rather than producing songs, we now produce children. Rather than moving up the BroBible charts, we now look for opportunities to move up the yield curve in the fixed income markets.

On the surface, New Linen today is just a nostalgic memory. It’s only mention at this point is through a fun fact at a corporate ice breaker session or in the context of “Remember when…” or “you’ll never believe this, but I used to be….” At this point, the linen is probably too old and tattered for a comeback. But when the group gets together on special occasions like Tim and Ada’s wedding yesterday, something becomes evident to me.

The songs may not be that special, and they may even make some people roll their eyes, but I believe the creative process shaped us into who we are today. New Linen made us better husbands, better dads and future dads, better friends, and better workers.

It was the discovery of creativity that we didn’t know we had. It was the pursuit of continuous improvement that gave us a growth mindset. It was the diligence and the reps and the time we spent to get it right to understand that things don’t come easy. It was the freedom to bring our authentic voice, but the accountability to do what was best for the team. It was the paradox of producing something for others’ enjoyment without caring too much about what everybody thinks. It was learning that there’s no better fulfillment than creating something special with the people you care about. It was even understanding when it’s the right time to walk away from it all.

Because as Doc said, “you’re never gonna see me bragging about the times that I made a CD. I’m all about my friends and the life that’s ahead of me. Waiting for the time that I’m gonna find a better me. It’s been a moment since the last drop. Never thinking about the cash pop. I’m not here to make a lot of G’s.

Im just in it for the memories.”

So as we reunite at Pici’s wedding, it begs the question, will New Linen make a comeback? I’ll leave that up to you guys. But personally, I don’t think we ever left. We’re just getting older. #NewLinenforLife

On Saturdays, I usually wake up to a “cooing” noise coming from the baby monitor. The coos signal that it’s time to brew some coffee, make a formula bottle, and head upstairs to see about a girl.

I find a little bear named Charlie standing up in the corner of her crib, clutching the railing, and grinning from ear to ear. Her big smile generally turns into a stutter step dance upon my arrival.

The bear and I hang out in our rocking chair as she guzzles the bottle. Then, we get changed for the day, make each other giggle with some funny faces and tummy raspberries, and chase each other around the room on our hands and knees.

Once we get settled, we head down for breakfast with Mom. We sit at the table, and amidst the bacon and eggs, we soak in the view out the kitchen bay window.

Once Charlie falls back asleep for her morning nap, Jordan and I take the monitor out to the tennis court to work on our game until the little bear wakes up again. For the next few hours, Jordan and Charlie will fill the house with pumpkins and other fall decorations, while I hop on the tractor to cut the grass or grab the weed whacker to clean up around the pond.

When we’re all done with the housework, we’ll take a long walk as a family on Meadowbrook Lane or through Hershey’s Mill or around Grand Oak to enjoy one of the last warm days of the year.

Finally, we relax with drinks on the back deck feeling satisfied with our productive day. It’s just nice to be home. Across the backyard, we see mom and dad approaching because they can sense a happy hour from a mile (or in this case 500 feet) away. They’ll also take up any opportunity to hang with their granddaughter.

That to me is a pretty special day. That to me is the dream. That to me feels like home. But none of that would be possible without my grandparents.

Pop Pop, today you would’ve turned 90. In the spirit of your birthday, I just want to thank you again for the life we get to live, the family we get to love, and the home we get to have.

After all, some of the best memories I have growing up involve sitting in the same kitchen with you and Grandmom looking out the same window at the same beautiful view.

It was on this tennis court where you showed me that you’re never too young or too old to start “working on your game.” It was around this pond where you showed me the importance of working hard, making things last, and taking pride in what you own.

It was on this street where you showed me how great it felt to take a nice long walk or bike ride. It was on this back deck where you showed me that there’s nothing better than relaxing with family and being outside for the last few nice days of the year. It was through this same backyard where you showed me how special it is as a kid to live so close to your grandparents.

Finally, it was in this home where you showed me how to be a loving father, a devoted husband, and a stand up role model.

Even though you’re gone, we now get to enjoy the life and home that you built for us. We get to live by the lessons and the model that you showed us. Charlotte and her GG (Grandmom) have become the best of friends, and nobody loves this home more than our little girl. Admittedly, there are now baby gates blocking the hallways, your wood shop is where we keep the kitty litter, and Bachelor in Paradise has taken the place of Larry King Live. But other than that, we are doing our best to make the most of what you’ve started and do right by you every day.

Happy Birthday Pop Pop. We miss you and we thank you for making us feel right at home.

Jade and Steve,

Your wedding this weekend proved why this family is #BonderStrong. No matter what life throws at us, we always find a way to throw a party right back.

Heading into this weekend, we all really needed something to celebrate. Saturday seemed like a particularly great day to have a great day. And we certainly did.

Saturday was a great day for 72 degrees and clear skies at sunset in a beautiful vineyard.

It was a great day for vows from two people that can take on anything together. For example, Steve, you didn’t let the large bee in your glass stop you from drinking the wine with your bride during the ceremony.

It was a great day for Jimmy to officiate your wedding. The ceremony was so well crafted that we were on our feet the entire time…or maybe the rookie officiant just forgot to ever tell the crowd that we could sit down.

It was a great day for Ryan’s reading to remind us that where there is love, we’ll never walk alone. The lyrics your mom used to sing to you as a little girl will serve as a fantastic guide to your marriage.

It was a great day for Danielle and Jordan to toast the girl you were growing up, and the woman they’ve become so proud of today. They also showed once again that they’re the best role models a sister could ask for. The same goes for Steve and his brothers.

It was a great day for “Pop” Bonder to skip around the room like a kid on Christmas morning. It makes me imagine the spring in my step that I hope to have one day at Charlie’s wedding.

It was a great day for two special families and two fun groups of friends come together for one great couple.

It was a great day for Kaitlyn, Luke, and Cole to light up the dance floor. Whether it was Kaitlyn rapping all the words to the new Lizzo song, Cole finding a way to dance with every pretty girl in the room, or Luke and his siblings performing a dance off that could go viral on YouTube, I was honored to be their uncle.

It was a great day to wrap our arms around the people we love and belt out “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough.” With Steve’s induction this weekend, the Bonder (originally Abbandanato) extended family is now at 40 members and counting, but it’s never been stronger.

It was a great day to order boxes on boxes of late night Dominoes at the after party. The pizza probably wasn’t top quality, the Miller lights probably weren’t necessary, and the jokes probably weren’t that funny, but in the moment it all just felt right.

More than anything, Saturday was a great day to be filled with and surrounded by so much love and joy. There were so many special moments that brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

We needed this one, and I’ll never forget it. But with this family, we’ll find another reason to celebrate like this again soon.

Your brother,

Kevin

On this day a year ago, Jordan and I were sitting through a nine hour course on “What to expect when you’re expecting” at Chester County Hospital. Meanwhile, back in Villanova, Jessi and Pete had their bags packed and ready to go into labor at any moment. Back in our garage sat an overpriced double-decker stroller. I thought to myself, “Why is this class nine hours and what the heck are we going to do with a double decker stroller?” The truth is, none of us had any clue what we were in for.

A year later, Charlie and Leila, the “Boogie Cousins” (as Casey lovingly named them), have taken over the world. Well, at least they’ve taken over our world.

This weekend, we had the privilege of watching Leila while Jessi and Pete attended a wedding out of town. My floor is now covered in scrambled eggs, blueberries, and baby toys. My lower back is sore from walks around the house, the rooftop of the Great American Pub, and the patio at World of Beers. My obliques are sore from the shuttle runs to keep one terror away from the outlet while the other made a break for the door. My biceps are sore from carrying these 20+ pound medicine balls in each arm. My chest is sore from pushing that damn double decker stroller up the hill of Fayette Ave in Conshohocken (by the way, this stroller was worth every penny). Most of all, my jaw is sore from smiling at these sweet and adorable little nuggets all weekend.

Charlie started out the weekend little bit afraid of her cousin, but as the hours rolled on, the bond grew stronger and stronger. It’s been fun to see these little girls grow up side by side, and it will be even more fun as they get older.

When one babbles, the other babbles. When one cries, the other cries. When one giggles, the other giggles. I thought their emotional ups and downs would wait until middle school, but it looks like they’ve started early. The drama will eventually and inevitably evolve from “you took my penguin” to “you flirted with my crush,” but we can’t imagine the memories…and the trouble…these two will create together.

When we were sitting in the “what to expect when you’re expecting” class, we had no clue what to expect. But the joy that “Double Trouble” have brought us and the rest of our family has blown away our wildest expectations.

John Wooden once said, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” If that’s the case, when two of your best friends are Dani and Andrew Spinelli, the future couldn’t look any brighter.

As I look back at their wedding weekend and forward at the rest of their lives together, a few things particularly stuck out to me.

We all know Dani and Spins bring out the best in each other, but it was especially clear this weekend that together they bring out the most in everyone else too. It seemed everyone danced a little harder, sang and cheered a little wilder, smiled a little bigger, hugged a little tighter, laughed a little louder, dressed a little fancier, and yes…ate and drank a little heavier. And while my body can’t sustain many more of these weekends, I expect that these two will give us that extra spring in our step for many occasions to come. So we need to soothe our hoarse voices, get some rest, and hydrate because when they get back from their honeymoon in two weeks, I’m sure we’ll pick up right where we left off.

Another thing that was clear is Dani and Spins don’t do anything at half speed. Through three days of celebrations, every detail was designed and delivered to the max. Sure, I expected a heartfelt ceremony, a bumpin’ dance floor, a beautiful venue filled with beautiful people, another rendition of Zombie Nation and Piano Man, a sparkler sendoff, a swarm around the late night karaoke mic, and amazing food and hospitality at the Eders house, but each detail and experience blew my expectations out of the water.

But what was most clear all weekend was that these two great people are who they are because of their two great families. Love, joy, and generosity radiates from both sets of parents and siblings. And when they’re all together, it’s something really special. We heard it in their words, and felt it in their presence all the way from the Spinellis’ speeches on Thursday to our Penn State watch party at the Eder’s house Saturday night. We’re so grateful that both the Spinellis and the Eders continue to make Jordan, Charlie, and I (and the rest of our friends) feel like we’re part of the family as well. I’m excited to see the newlyweds continue to add to this dynamic as they begin to build to the family tree.

When Jordan and I think back on our fondest memories, Dani and Spins are at the center of most of them. We made another unforgettable one this weekend. We were so honored to be part of it, and can’t wait to see what the future holds.

But until then, it’s time for a nap.